Secrets
by Dandylions
Summary: Bark, Bean, and Nack find themselves staying in a fancy hotel, but when strange things begin to happen, they learn that some secrets are best kept, well...secret. COMPLETE
1. No Big Deal

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

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**Secrets**

**Chapter One**

"Bean you idiot!" Nack shouted from the top of the pile of ash and charred rubble that had once been his house. Amid the wreckage, Bean and Bark beat at the few remaining flames with dripping wet towels borrowed from the neighbors. As the unfortunate duck passed by, Nack grabbed him by the neck. "You blew up my house! I'm gonna kill you!" The weasel yelled in Bean's face as he throttled him.

"Calm down Nack." Bark said as he freed his friend from the homicidal weasel's grip. "Bean saw a cockroach and tried to kill it with a bomb, but he accidentally blew up the TV, causing the rest of the house to catch fire and explode. It's really no big deal..."

"No big deal..." Nack muttered through clenched teeth. "I let you stay with me, and you blow up my damn house!" He shouted at the duck and polar bear. "Where the hell are we gonna live?"

"Relax Nack...," Bark began, "We can stay at a hotel until we find a new house."

"Until _I _find a new house. From now on it's just me. I don't give a damn where you two go, but you ain't living with me!" Nack said.

Bark pulled out his wallet. "I've got two hundred dollars. That should be enough for two or three nights at a cheap motel. Bean might have some money." Bark glanced over at Bean. The green duck was trying to put out last of the flames. "Hey Bean!" The polar bear yelled, "Do you have any money?"

Bean flipped through the pockets of his red wallet. "Yes!" He shouted as he pulled out several bills. The duck snatched the two hundred dollars from Bark's hands and counted the all the money.

"How much do we have, Bean?" Bark asked.

"Five hundred dollars!" The duck yelled.

"Five hundred?" Nack questioned. "Give it to me!" He yelled, trying to snatch the money away from Bean.

"No!" Bean shouted, trying to hold the money away from Nack. "My money!"

"Give it to me!"

"No!"

Nack lunged at Bean, tackling him to the ground. Bean stretched his arm out behind his head, holding the money away from the greedy weasel. Nack tried ripping the five hundred dollars away from the green duck, but he could not reach. Instead, all he could do was knock the bills loose from Bean's hand.

Bark dove for the money, Bean dove for the money, and Nack dove for the money. But they were too late. The five hundred dollars floated through the air and landed in the flames that Bean had been trying to extinguish. The three of them stared at the hundred dollar bills as they blackened and crumbled, mixing into the ash that all ready covered the ground. "Five hundred dollars..." Nack said, as he if could not accept the fact that half a thousand dollars had vanished right before his eyes.

"Now what?" Bean said, looking over at Bark.

"Now..." Nack answered, rounding on the duck with a maniacal look in his eyes, "...I'm gonna kill you Bean! I'm gonna rip out all your feathers and stuff them up your nose, and then I'm gonna cook you in your own juices! After that, I'm gonna force you to eat your miserable charred carcass. Then-"

"Nack," Bark interrupted," we can just stay at my cousin's hotel, Chateau Royal."

"Yay!" Bean shouted, "We get to stay at the Chateau! With the big bathtubs and the big beds and the big swimming pool and the free food!"

"Did you say _free?_" Nack asked the excited green duck.

"Yeah, he did." Bark said, brushing some ash off of his fur. "My cousin lets us stay at her hotel for free. We get everything free. She even provides a chauffeur for us."

Nack was listen closely to what Bark said, and he liked what he heard. The idea of living in a fancy hotel where everyone catered to his every need appealed to the sleazy weasel. "Well, let's go then." He said as he made his way through the remains of his home.

"Uh, Nack... I feel inclined to point this out to you: We have no car." Bark stated.

"Forget about it, what kind of car do you guys wanna take? Lexus? Ferrari? Or maybe something a little older like an Impala or an old Thunderbird..."

"Nack are you talking about stealing a car?" Bark asked.

Bean gasped. "I heard that you can go to jail for that!"

"No!" Nack said to the duck.

"Yeah!" Bean shouted, totally oblivious to the sarcasm in Nack's voice.

"Besides," the weasel said, ignoring Bean and turning to face Bark, "I don't like to think of it as stealing... I prefer to think of it as borrowing with every intention of eventually returning."

Bark grabbed Nack by his belt. "It's still stealing." He pointed out.

Nack yanked his belt free from the yellow polar bear's grip. "So what? You wanna get there or not?"

Bark sighed and watched Nack examine each car that was parked along the curb. "Nack hurry up. Someone might see what you're doing."

"Alright, alright!" The weasel snapped, "Just let me find a nice car..."

"What about this one!" Bean shouted from the other side of the street. Parked in front of him was a champagne colored Buick that had obviously seen better years.

"Bean, we ain't stealing that piece of crap." Nack said, finally deciding on a red Lexus that was parked in his neighbor's driveway.

"Oh okay." The green duck said. As Nack struggled to open the car door with his lock pick, Bean shrugged and opened up the passenger's side door of the Buick. He reclined the seat and put his feet up on the dash board.

"Um, Nack..." Bark said, looking over at Bean who was sitting inside the car.

"Not now Bark! I'm busy." Nack grunted, licking a drop of sweat as it slid down his nose. Despite all of his efforts and experience, the weasel could not get that car door to open. Finally, the weasel gave up. Exasperated, he threw his lock pick down on the ground. "Alright what did you want?"

Bark pointed over to Bean. The duck was now sitting in the diver's seat, pretending to drive. "Bean got us a car."

Nack stood there for a moment, staring at the car as if he could not believe that a mentally challenged duck had managed to succeed where he, a skilled professional, had failed. The weasel slapped his forehead and mumbled something inaudible. Bark shrugged and crossed the street. He wordlessly opened the door and sat down in the passenger's seat. "How did you get the door open?" He asked Bean.

"It was unlocked." Bean said, watching Nack cross the street. The duck rolled down the window. "Hey Nack! Did you get the Lexus unlocked yet?"

The sleazy weasel yanked the door open and threw Bean into the street before sitting down in the driver's seat. The green duck stood up and dusted himself off. "I wanted to drive!" He said.

"No." Nack said as he searched for the wires that were needed to hot wire the car.

"Why?" Bean asked, opening up the backseat door and climbing in.

"Because I like living!" Nack snapped at Bean. The weasel smiled to himself as the car started up. He pressed his foot to the gas pedal and sped down the street, towards the chateau, towards fancy living, and towards the strangest adventure they would ever have.

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**Okay, please tell me how I did. I'm a little nervous about this fic...**


	2. Rules of the Unusual Sort

**OMG! Six reviews in the first chapter? That's a new record! ****Whoo hoo! Cookies for all! **

**Thanks Blue Mage Quartet, Sonic-Addict, SergeantKlump, Cytrus, sonic candy, and Chaotix Extremist for reviewing! **

**Cytrus- Sorry...it's the way I write.**

**sonic candy- uh, yeah I support it, but I don't write it... **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bark, Bean, or Nack/Fang. I only own the hotel, the hotel staff, and the guests. **

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Chateau Royal had to be one of the fanciest hotels Nack had ever seen. As soon as he, Bark, and Bean arrived in their stolen, crappy Buick, a purple coyote wearing an expensive suit directed them to the parking lot. "There ain't to many people here." Nack observed as he parked alongside a red sports car in the the nearly empty lot.

"Not too many can afford to stay here." Bark said flatly as he opened his door and stepped outside. Bean climbed out after him.

"Hi Eliah!" The duck shouted, jumping up and down while waving to the purple coyote, "We're back!" Across the lot, the coyote shook her head sadly. "Now how come she never says 'hi' back?" Bean asked Bark.

The polar bear shrugged and stepped onto the sidewalk. After making sure their car was unlocked, Nack stepped up next to Bark. "Damn, this is the cleanest sidewalk I've seen." He mumbled. It was true. The concrete was still bright gray. No gum or weeds stained it's flawless surface.

"My cousin likes everything to be clean." Bark explained as he walked down the sidewalk and through the glass double doors of Chateau Royal. A moment later, Bean, who had been left in the parking lot, came dashing through the doors. The duck tripped on the red velvet rug and crashed into a small wood table. The porcelain vase perched on top wobbled precariously for several seconds before falling to the ground and breaking into a million tiny peices.

The black cat behind the check in counter groaned and mutter something inaudible. Bean sat up and hastily began apologizing to the cat. "It's alright..." She sighed as she grabbed a set of keys. "I'm going to get a broom. I'll be with you three in second; please don't break anything else while I'm gone!" She said, skillfully hopping over the counter and hurrying off down the hall.

As soon as she left, Nack grabbed Bean by his bandanna. "You oaf! If you get us thrown out of here, I swear I'll kill you!" He shouted.

"Calm down, Nack." Bark said, pulling Bean away from the angry weasel. "Last time we stayed here Bean broke three vases and a window. My cousin didn't throw us out then."

Nack opened his mouth to protest, but interrupted by Bean. The green duck broke free from Bark's grip and ran over to the front desk. "Look Bark!" He shouted, pointing excitedly to one of those bells that you ring for service, "Bobbie got one of those bells! Oh...it's so shiny I can see myself..." Bean said, staring at his reflection in the silver bell for several moments before deciding to ring it.

"Bean, knock it off!" Nack snapped.

The green duck ignored Nack and continued to hit the bell again and again and again and again...

"Would you stop ringing the damn bell!" The black cat shouted as she stepped into view with a broom and dustpan.

"Sorry..." Bean murmured as he stepped away from the bell.

"Sheesh..." The cat muttered as she swept up the shards of porcelain. "You already broke the vase; don't break the bell to!" When the cat finished sweeping, she vaulted back over the counter, straightened the tie on her suit, and opened up the guest book. "Alright, how many nights will be graced by your presence?" She asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"I like her. She's nice!" Bean said to Bark, once again missing a sarcastic comment.

"We aren't sure yet..." Bark said, ignoring Bean's comment.

The black cat raised an eyebrow. "So...you're going to pay every night?" She asked, slightly suspicious.

"I'm Bobbie's cousin. She lets me stay for free." Bark explained.

The cat slammed the guest book shut. "Oh, you must be Bark. I've heard a lot of things about you from Bobbie. I'll tell her that your here."

Bark nodded. The black cat pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Hey Bobbie. It's Nat. Your cousin's here." She said into the speaker. Bark could heard from static coming from the other end, but he could not make out his cousin's response.

"She's on her way down." The black cat said, interpreting the static. "Go ahead and have a seat."

Bark nodded and sat down in a overstuffed plush armchair. Bean followed suit and sat down in the chair besides him, while Nack took a seat on the other side of the room. They waited in silence for Bark's cousin. Well, it would have been silent if it was not for the scratching of the black cat's pen as she documented something in a black book, the click of the ventilation system as the air conditioning clicked on, and the sound of footsteps coming down the hall.

"Hello Bobbie." Bean greeted his friend's cousin as she stepped into the main lobby. Bobbie merely gave Bean a brief wave in response before addressing her cousin.

"Let me guess." She began before Bark could say anything, "Bean saw a cockroach and blew it up, destroying whatever house you were staying in, and you two had no money so you came here."

"You're good!" Bean said, staring at the polar bear in shock. Like Bark, Bobbie was a polar bear, except her fur was white with a blue tinge to it.

She shot Bean an irritated look. "The same exact thing happened two months ago, you idiot!" Bobbie motioned to Nack, "The only difference is that you destroyed that weasel's house this time."

"His name's Nack." Bark said. "So," he said, changing the subject, "how long can we stay?"

"As long as you need to..." Bobbie muttered. "Natalie will show you to your room..." She added before storming away.

The black cat vaulted over the counter for the third time. "Alright, follow me!" She said, hurrying up a flight of stairs. Bark, Bean, and Nack practically had to run up the stairs to catch up with her. "So," she said, "My name's Natalie. Who are you guys?"

"I'm Bark, this is my friend Bean, and that's Nack."

"Cool," Natalie said as she stopped in front of a door. Nack glanced at the room number.

"I ain't superstitious or nothing, but ain't the number thirteen unlucky?" he said to Bark.

The polar bear shrugged. "It's just a room."

Natalie unlocked the door and let them inside. Nack had to admit that he was impressed. The carpet was shaggy and soft, the walls were painted pale blue, and expensive looking furniture was crammed into nearly every corner. Natalie handed the room key to Nack.

"There are some new rules." She began, counting each one off on her fingers. "The buffet closes at ten for breakfast and nine for dinner, the pool opens at eight and closes at ten, and there's no digging around the courtyard. That's about it. Have fun!" She said, closing the door behind her.

"No digging around the courtyard?" Bark echoed. "That's an oddly specific rule..."

"Ah, who cares." Nack said, flopping down on the couch and turning on the big screen TV. "This is paradise!"

"I guess your right..." Bark said, sitting down between Nack and Bean, but even as he watched TV with the two of them, the polar still could not shake off the feeling that there was something a little unusual about that rule...


	3. The Paranormal

**Well, only two reviews but oh well. Here is chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: I own everything but Bark, Bean, and Nack. Sega owns those those idiots.**

**I got the idea for this fic** **after reading a book, so some ideas in this chapter are from the book.**

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"I'm going to go read a book." Bark said nearly an hour and half after they had settled down to watch TV. The polar bear stood and walked into one of the two bedrooms, leaving Nack and Bean sitting on the couch.

Nack jumped off of the couch. "I ain't staying with that idiot!" The weasel announced as he sauntered into the other bedroom. Now alone, Bean snatched up the remote and flipped through the channels.

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Not wanting to be bothered by either Bean or Nack, Bark shut the door behind him as he walked into his temporary bedroom. It was a nice bedroom. Unlike the other room, the walls in this room were composed of dark wood paneling, but the carpet in here was the same thick, shaggy carpet that covered the floor of the other rooms. In the center of the room was a large bed with embroidered green and gold comforter and several matching pillows. Directly across from the foot of the bed was an entertainment center stocked with yet another big screen TV, a large boom box that looked like it would hold several of the CDs that were stacked were next to it, a gaming system, and several video games. Next to that was a dark wood bookshelf. Stacks of books were piled on the shelves.

That was what Bark had been looking for. The polar bear flipped through the different titles, looking for something interesting. He was about halfway down the bookshelf when he accidentally knocked a hardcover book off of the shelf. He bent down to pick it up. Out of curiosity, he glanced at the cover. The title of it was "101 True Ghost Stories". Having found nothing better to read, Bark walked over to the large, comfortable looking chair that had been placed by the bookshelf.

The polar sat down and propped his feet up on the ottoman. He was about to click on the lamp that was next to him when he realized that there was still plenty of light coming through the window. Bark opened up the book and was about to start reading when he heard Bean shouting from the other room.

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"Bark!" Bean shouted from the couch, "The TV just turned off by itself!" The duck frantically tapped the power button on the remote. "It won't turn back on!"

Nack poked his head out of one of the two bedrooms. "The power went off, idiot. Nothing's on." He said before he popped back into his room.

With a disappointed sigh, Bean laid the remote aside and walked into the room that he and Bark would be sharing. He opened up the door and flopped down on the bed. "Bark, the power is off. What am I going to do all night?"

"It won't be off too long Bean." Bark assured his friend, looking up from the book that he had been trying to read, "Remember, the same thing happened last time we stayed here. Give it about half an hour and it will go back on."

"Okay..." Bean sighed.

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_Later..._

It was the third hour. The third hour of no power, the third hour of absolute silence, the third hour of Bark reading countless ghost stories, the third hour of Nack muttering curses at Bean, and the third hour of Bean restlessly wandering the large hotel room.

Not that Bean and Nack were the only one's getting a little edgy. Bark would not mind if the power went back either. He was getting a little tired of reading stories about people who claimed to have had paranormal experiences, but at the moment there was nothing else to do.

The polar bear looked up from his book as Bean opened up the door and walked in. Slightly suspicious, Bark laid aside his book. "How do you do it?" Bean moaned, lying down on the bed the same way someone who was talking to a therapist would lie down on a chaise lounge.

Before Bark could answer, Nack burst into the room. "Alright!" He yelled. "Why aren't you going insane like we are?" He demanded. "What's your secret?"

Bark motioned to the book that was lying in his lap. "This book." He said, "You guys should try reading one."

Bean sat up and shook his head. "I've tried books. After fifteen minutes all I end up with is a pile of ash!"

"Try reading them instead of blowing them up." Bark advised.

"Oh." That had not occurred to Bean. Uninterested in the conversation that was developing, Nack sat down on the bed. "So what are you reading about?" Bean asked, looking at the book cover. "The supernatural?"

"The paranormal." Bark responded.

"Oh, that's a relief. Pair of normal what?" Bean asked.

Bark shook his head. "No, Bean, not a 'pair of normal', the _paranormal._ The paranormal are things that are beyond explanation...like ghosts."

"And sporks?" Bean asked. "I always wondered how they combined a fork and a spoon...and why call it a spork? Why not call it a foon or a-"

"Bean, " Nack said.

"Yes Nack?"

"Sporks ain't paranormal so shut the hell up!" Nack yelled.

Bark continued talking. "Another paranormal thing is that when you feel like something is about to happen, and then it happens."

Bean felt a chill run down his spine. "Bark!" He cried. "I think I had a paranormal experience just the other night!"

Nack snorted. Bark raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah! It was after dinner and I was lying on the couch watching TV and... I was yawning and I felt my eyes growing heavy... And I had this overpowering feeling that I was about to fall asleep, and I did!" Bean hollered.

Nack and Bark stared at the green duck for a long time without speaking. "And do you have the overpowering feeling that you're about to experience pain?" Nack asked at last.

"Right now? No not really..."

Nack jumped off the bed and kicked Bean. "Ow!" The duck yelled.

"Never doubt the paranormal..." Nack muttered as he stalked out of the room and into the kitchen.

All this time, Bark had been reading the book. When Nack left, he handed the book to Bean. "Read that."

Bean began to read the passage to himself. It read:

_Miles "Tails" Prower of Mystic Ruins reports the fascinating case of the phantom telephone conversation. "I was talking to my friend Amy Rose for a couple minutes late one day when I realized that the phone plug was disconnected," he writes. "The next day, I told Amy what had happened. Confused, she told me that she had been chasing after Sonic in the middle of nowhere at the time that I called her. She would not have been able to talk to me even if the phone had been connected_."

"Creepy..." Bean said handing the book back to Bark. "I never knew that Tails got reception the Mystic Ruins!" The duck said as he walked out of the room. Bark now understood why Bean said that he was going crazy. His brain had turned into a two week old banana three hours ago.

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**Please review!**


	4. Omens

**Wow! There's a lot of people reviewing! I got like six reviews in thirty minutes. **

**Thanks to all my reviewers! Cookies for all! (hands out Bean shaped cookies)**

**Blue Mage Quartet- Yes, poor Bean. Let's take a moment to pity him. (pauses) Okay, moment over. **

**Disclaimer: I only own Natalie, Bobbie, Eliah, and the guests. The idiotic three are owned by Sega. (Be glad I don't own them... Bwahaha!)**

**Sorry, but Nack doesn't appear very much in this chapter. He's sleeping.**

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_Late that night..._

The power came back on sometime around eleven at night. The only reason Bark knew this was because he was abruptly awoken by Bean's shout of glee from the living room. The polar bear tried ignoring it as he shifted positions on the feather soft mattress and dozed off once more, but Bean was not done yet.

Bark winced as he heard his door creak open and the sound of Bean walking towards his bed. "Psst, Bark!"

Bark rolled over onto his back and sat up. He yawned and rubbed sleep from his eyes. "What?" He asked, even though he already knew what Bean was going to say.

"The power's back on!" The enthusiastic duck yelled.

"Shh!" Bark hushed him. "You might wake up Nack."

"Oh."

Bark fell back onto the bed. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight Bean." The polar shut his eyes and settled back into sleep as Bean padded out of the room and back to the TV. The relative peace that had been disturbed by Bean now began to return as Bark drifted deeper into sleep...

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_Two hours later..._

"Bark..." Somewhere in the fog of sleep, the polar bear heard a voice whispering in his ear, "it's important..."

_Go away. _Bark thought from somewhere in his fogged mind, but the voice persisted. "Bark," it intoned" wake up..."

Bark was now fully awake. He knew that voice. Who else would wake him up in the middle of the night to tell him something unimportant? "What do you want, Bean?" Bark mumbled without opening his eyes.

"I've seen an omen." The green duck was louder now that he had succeeded in waking Bark. "Don't you want to see it?"

"That's okay," Bark said, yawning, "I'll wait for it to come out on DVD."

Bean laughed. Bark inwardly groaned. "Come on, Bark. It's not everyday that you get to see an omen.

Bark was going to point out that it was, in fact, not night but day, but he knew that would just make Bean laugh more and run the risk of waking up Nack, which Bark definitely did not want to do. But it was a little too late for that. For the third time that night, Bark's door squeaked open, but unlike the last two times, it was not Bean who walked in, but a very pissed Nack. "What in the hell is going on! It's almost one in the morning." The weasel snapped.

"Bean thinks he saw an omen." Bark yawned, climbing out of bed.

"A what?"

"An omen. It's a sign that something terrible is going to happen." Bark explained to the sleepy weasel.

"I've seen signs like that before," Nack said, his voice dripping with sarcasm," 'SHUT UP' Don't you hate that one? What about this sign, Bean, 'I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!' " The weasel yelled into the duck's face.

"Are you being sarcastic?" Bean asked, stupidly.

Bark pretended to ignore the two of them. "Come on, Bean. Show us this omen."

"And it better be good..." Nack added threatening as the three of them stepped out of Bark and Bean's bedroom and into the living room. Bean pointed to the TV. It had been paused on some commercial. Yes, they had the fancy kind of TV that allowed you to pause, rewind, and record. Bark and Nack flopped down on the couch.

"Alright Bean..." Bark mumbled, "let's see this omen of yours."

Bean hit the play button, and Bark and Nack found themselves watching a commercial about grass. "Tired of mowing your grass every single weekend?" The guy on the TV said, "No need to anymore!"

"Bean, what the hell is this?" Nack demanded.

"Keep watching!" Bean said, taking a seat next to Bark.

"Introducing new emo grass! It cuts itself!" The advertising guy announced. Nack ripped the remote out of Bean's hands and clicked the power button.

The weasel glared at the duck for what seemed like an eternity. "You woke me up at one in the morning to show me a commercial about emotionally unstable grass!" He screamed at the duck.

Bean was totally unfazed by Nack's shouting. "Yeah! It's telling us that we need to buy some for our garden or else something bad will happen why we mow the lawn!"

Nack exercised his vocabulary as he lunged at the duck and wrapped his hands around his scrawny neck. "I hate you so much, you pathetic excuse for a living being!" He screeched. Bean wriggled free from the weasel's grip. Enraged, Nack stormed off to his room, muttering a colorful assortment of curses.

"Bean, I hoped you learned an important lesson." Bark said, in usual monotone.

"Yeah, I did." Bean said. "As nasty as Nack is during the day, he's even nastier at one in the morning!"

Bark groaned and walked into the bedroom, followed closely by Bean. The polar bear flopped down on the bed and wriggled under the sheets while Bean sat down in the chair. Suddenly, the duck became alert. "Did you hear that?" He asked.

Bark sat up in the bed and listened closely. Sure enough, he could hear somebody moving around outside. The polar bear wandered over to the window and peered down into the courtyard. Normally, the courtyard was full of the vibrant colors of blooming flowers and healthy grass, but at night, the plants seemed an eerie shade of white, and the lights from the lamp posts cast mysterious shadows across the walls.

Bean had joined Bark at the window. "Look," he said, pointing a figure that was moving swiftly across the lawn.

Bark squinted at the shadowy outline. "Is that...Eliah?" Bark asked.

"Yeah, it looks like her." Bean confirmed. "But why is she carrying a shovel?"

"I don't know," Bark said, watching the coyote vanish into the building, "but I do know that she was breaking one of Natalie's rules by digging around in the courtyard."

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**Dun, dun, dun! Yes, there was a reason that I did that whole grass omen thing. You'll see why later though... Please review!**


	5. Investigating

**I update ridiculously fast don't I? ****I still can't believe how many reviews I got...**

**Thanks to: Chaotix Etremist, sonic candy, Dr Namgge, and Ciel the Hedgehog for reviewing! **

**Disclaimer: See last chapter.**

**And now, before I take up anymore room with my mindless babbling...ONWARD TO CHAPTER FIVE! (This chapter is a little boring because I'm short on funny)**

**BTW, I'm not sure where Nack lives so I'm saying Station Square. If I'm wrong, I apologize sorry.**

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With last nights incident fresh in their minds, Bark and Bean woke early in the morning. So early, in fact, that Nack was still sleeping. Normally, Nack was the first one up, the followed by Bark and Bean. The polar bear and the duck were not used to waking this early. The sights and smells were all new to them. Had it been any other day, they would have stopped to take it all, but they were anxious to get down to the courtyard.

Bean grabbed his shoes and bandanna on his way out of the bedroom, while Bark was already prepared. The duck sat down on the couch and slipped on his shoes, which did not take long as his shoes had no laces. Bean tied on his trademark red bandanna and walked out of the door with Bark.

The second floor hallway was quiet at this time of morning; all the guests would still be sound asleep. Bean could not resist a snicker as he pressed himself against the wall and crept down the silent hallway secret agent style. (A/N: If only he had sunglasses...) Bark simply walked down the hallway.

When Bean reached the stairs, he abandoned the wall and tip-toed down the flight of stairs, followed by Bark. In the lobby below them, they could hear someone muttering. Bean decided it would be best to get back on the wall before whoever was down there saw or heard him. Reaching the bottom stair, he and Bark carefully peered around the corner of the wall.

The muttering had been coming from Natalie. The black cat was grumbling a vocabulary that would have impressed Nack as she mopped the marble floors. Bean and Bark waited until her back was turned before bolting across the entryway and into the first floor hallway. As well as another set of guest rooms, this hall was home to the supply closet and the kitchen.

As Bean and Bark walked past the kitchen, they could hear dishes clinking together as the breakfast buffet was prepared. Bark peeked into the kitchen and saw Eliah setting out trays of food. She yawned several times and rubbed at her eyes. She must have had a late night...

He slipped past her and quickly walked down the hall, catching up to Bean. They could see the door that led to the courtyard a little ways in front of him. Fervently hoping that door would not squeak when he opened it, Bean grabbed the handle and pulled. No squeak. He breathed a sigh of relief and stepped out into the courtyard, followed by Bark.

The courtyard had looked somewhat creepy in the dark of the night, but in early morning, it was a breathtaking sight. The lush green grass was perfectly manicured, every poppy, marigold, and lily was in place, and every shrub had been cut in the likeness of someone or something.

But Bean and Bark were not here to admire the shrubbery. They were here to snoop around for anything suspicious. Bean decided to first look by the strange looking bushes, while Bark settled on searching the flower garden; but after getting countless pricks from rose thorns, the polar bear retreated onto the lawn. If he could not get through the roses, then neither could Eliah.

Bark walked across the lawn and towards Bean. Maybe Eliah had been digging there. He was about to began his investigating when he heard someone greet him. "Hello!"

The polar bear turned around to see a black hyena and a blue and brown ferret sitting in lawn chairs. They were sipping sodas and nibbling on chips. "I'm Ferra." The ferret introduced herself, "and this is my friend Snyder."

"Hey." Snyder muttered as he popped another chip in his mouth.

"Care to join us for some chips?" Ferra asked. Bark glanced over at Bean. The duck was now searching under the bush. It did not feel right to let Bean do all the searching why he ate chips, but being bigger than Bean, the polar bear found it too difficult to search through gardens. He shrugged it off and sat down in an empty chair besides Ferra.

The blue and brown ferret handed Bark a bag of barbecue chips. "Don't you just love barbecue?" She asked. "Snyder and I just don't how we could ever live without it." Snyder nodded. Bark popped open the bag of chips. He was not very fond of barbecue, but his growling stomach encourage him to eat the chips.

"So where are you from?" Ferra asked as she took a sip of her soda.

"Station Square." Bark answered. "I'm staying here with two of my friends."

"Oh it's so sweet up there." Ferra said. "Quaint. Charming. We're from the Village. _Upper _Village actually." Bark could have guessed. They seemed like the type who would live in Station Square's fancy housing development. "We have a pool," Ferra continued. "Do you have one?" She asked.

"We used to until I blew a hole in it and all the air came out!" Bean yelled as he came running across the lawn.

"This is my friend Bean." Bark introduced the duck. Ferra and Snyder smiled politely as if Bean was just too quaint for words. "So," Bark began,"are we it? Is there anyone else staying here?"

Ferra and Snyder looked at each other, their brows furrowed. " Let me put it this way," Snyder said at last, "we're the only _normal_ ones."

"Really," said Ferra,"You won't believe the riff-raff. You'd think for an expensive hotel, people like that wouldn't be here! There's this cat and this freaky looking foxbat... Trust me you don't want to know them. And then, there's this character called 'The Beaver'."

"Why?" Bean asked.

"I expect it's because he's a beaver." Snyder said. The hyena opened his mouth to say more, but Bark politely interrupted him.

"Sorry, but we need to get going." He said.

"Alright. See you around." Ferra said as Bark and Bean walked back over to the bush that Bean had been searching.

"Did you find anything?" Bark asked.

"Yep! I found a filled in hole. Actually, I found a lot of them." Bean said.

"Great. Let's go wake up Nack and come back down here." Bark said his monotonous voice as he hurried back over to the door.

"Uh, Bark?" Bean said, stopping the polar bear pointing at two shady looking figures walking down the hotel hallway.

"They look like trouble." Bark said, watching the figures get closer and closer. "They must be those two that Ferra and Snyder were talking about."

"Oh, they are trouble!"

Bark and Bean turned around to see Ferra and Snyder. The had their bags of chips and sodas with them. Apparently they had been on their way inside.

As they got closer, Bark and Bean could see that one was a cat and the other was some sort of fox with big ears and bat wings. One, the skinny fox hybrid with ragged white fur, strutted towards them so smoothly that her hips must have been on ball bearings. Her piercing blue eyes were stuck on the polar bear and the duck like hungry fleas. Her blank faced companion was an equally thin, long haired, black and white cat.

"Well, well," the foxbat snarled as she opened the door, causing Bark, Bean, Ferra, and Snyder to take a couple of steps back. "and what do we have here?"

The cat circled Bark, giving him the once over. "Nice fur," she said in a sickeningly smooth voice when she came in a full circle. Bark was beginning to look a little annoyed. The cat stared him in the eyes, "Did you bring any food?" She asked.

Bark took his time before asking, "Are you asking me?"

The foxbat snorted. "She ain't talking to your mother," she cracked, breaking into a raspy sort of laugh. The cat chortled. Bark and Bean exchanged nervous glances. Ferra and Snyder just shook their heads.

The foxbat stopped laughing abruptly. "I'm Shade Hunter." She said, spitting out the words. It was less an introduction than a threat. "And here's my sister, Heather."

"You're sisters?" Bean asked.

"Sisters in crime!" Shade Hunter snapped. "Burglars. Petty thieves. Want to make something of it?" There was a long silence in which nobody choose to "make something of it".

"What were you saying about food?" Bark asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

Shade Hunter sneered. "I'll let you in on a little secret." She said, glancing around. "The glop that they serve here is enough to make you taste buds go on strike. So we was just wondering if you brought anything with you. Besides those mosquito flavoured chips." She shot a look at Snyder and Ferra.

"That's 'mesquite'." Ferra corrected softly.

"Whatever." Shade Hunter snapped, turning back to Bark and Bean.

"I'm afraid not." Bark mumbled.

"Pity," muttered Shade Hunter, "You're going to wish you had."

"The food's that bad?"

"Like nothing you ever ate." Shade Hunter replied.

"Like nothing you deserve." Heather added.

"Gee," said Bean, "it sounds like gruel and unusual punishment."

Heather nodded. "However, once Shade Hunter and I have found the-" she started to say, but the foxbat gave her a sharp look that shut her up. Her mouth closed. Bark eyed the two suspiciously. There was something odd about them...

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**Wow! My longest chapter ever. :) **

**Please review!**


	6. The Beaver

**So...many...reviews...**

**Thank you: SergeantKlump, sonic candy, and Blue Mage Quartet for reviewing! **

**Disclaimer: See chapter four.**

**And now as I like to say, ONWARD TO CHAPTER SIX!**

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Suddenly, the air was filled with a distant high pitched voice singing what sounded for all the world like a hymn. The only words that Bark could make out were, "While on the path of righteousness I slither..."

Shade Hunter shook her head in disgust. "That's The Beaver," she growled, "A disgrace to his race."

"A shame to his name," added Heather.

Bean, who hated being left out, said, "A wart to his sort." Bark, Ferra, Snyder, Shade Hunter, and Heather all slowly turned to face him. The duck looked at them and smiled weakly. "A blot to his lot? A blister to his sister? A bother to his father?"

"Oh, dear," Bark heard Ferra say to Snyder, "perhaps you and I are the only normal ones here after all."

Bark was not the only one who heard. "What's that supposed to mean?" Shade Hunter said, her eyes narrowing into tiny slits.

Ferra gave a nervous laugh, "Oh nothing."

"Yeah, well it better be nothing or else watch out for your mosquito chips!"

"It's 'mesquite'." Snyder muttered under his breath.

If Ferra heard him, she ignored him. "Surely," she said, arching one eyebrow, "stealing potato chips is below you?"

Heather arched superior eyebrow of her own. "_Nothing_ is beneath us." She said with pride. Bark caught the little smile behind her eyes and began to wonder if Bean was right. Perhaps something terrible _was_ going to happen.

"Come on Bean. Let's go." Bark said, grabbing the back of Bean's bandanna and dragging him inside the hotel.

Once they were inside, Bean nudged Bark. "Didn't I tell you?" He muttered. "Those two spell trouble!"

Bark was going to mention that it had been Ferra that had said Shade Hunter and Heather were trouble, not him, but he decided to keep quit. "I don't know if they're that bright." He said instead. Personally, Bark was not sure they were the biggest of their problems. After all, they still had not meant the hymn singing beaver. It turned out that they did not have long to wait.

He walked in through the front door just as Bark and Bean were passing by. Whistling a hymn, he waved hello to Natalie, who half heartedly returned his greeting.

Bark and Bean exchanged glances, both of them silently agreeing to walk to their room without saying anything. Which is what they did. The two of them walked up the stairs, but as they walked down the hall, they could still here the whistling behind them. Bean turned around in time to see The Beaver walking behind them. "He's getting closer!" The duck hissed. Bark stopped in front of their room, Room Number 13, and pulled out the key. "Hurry!"

Bark shoved the key in the slot and waited for it to beep. It did beep...at the exact moment that the weasel passed by. "Hello friends." He said in a velvety, soothing tone. Maybe he sensed their discomfort.

Bark opened up his door. He and Bean stepped inside. So did The Beaver. Nack had been sitting on the couch. When The Beaver stepped inside, he looked away from the TV. "Who the hell are you, and why are you in here?" He asked.

The Beaver smiled. "I've just come to spread a little sunshine..." He said, sitting down in one of the chairs. Bark and Bean exchanged miserable glances and sat down on the couch beside Nack.

"That's nice." Bark said.

"I just want to let you know that since we're going to be neighbors for a couple of days, if you ever need anything, anything at all, I'll be here quick as a mink."

"That's a very-" Bark started to say, but he was interrupted by Nack.

"Great, go get me a soda." The sleazy weasel demanded. The Beaver nodded and walked into the kitchen. "And none of that diet crap!" Nack called after him. Several seconds later, The Beaver returned, handed Nack a Pepsi, and sat back down.

"Us beavers sometimes get a bum rap, don't you agree?" The Beaver said.

"No." Nack said flatly.

"Look at me. Do I seem annoying, buck-toothed, and stupid?"

"Yes."

The Beaver ignored Nack. "Of course I don't. Judge not, lest ye be judged, that's what I always say. Take yourself for instance," The Beaver said to Bark, "You're not dumb, lazy, and covered in fleas."

"Well, he got one out of three right." Nack cracked. Bark glowered in his direction.

"I think that you should probably get going." Bark said to The Beaver.

"You're probably right." He said, standing up and walking towards the door. "Take a stroll with me sometimes."

"Yeah, okay bye!" Bark said, shutting the door behind The Beaver. He leaned against the door, sweating with relief. Obviously, there was no normal guests at Chateau Royal.

Nack narrowed his eyes at Bark. "Why in the hell did you bring in that moron!"

"He followed us." Bark moaned, slumping down into the chair that The Beaver had been sitting in a moment ago.

Nack skeptically raised an eyebrow. "So where did you two go?" He asked.

Bark began to explain everything to him. Starting with last night's incidents and ending with their encounter with Shade Hunter and Heather. Bark half expected the weasel to call them lunatics, but instead Nack nodded. "Sounds suspicious to me." He mumbled, turning off the TV. "Come on. It's almost nine. We better go get some breakfast." He grumbled.

Apparently Bark and Bean would get the chance to see just how bad the food here was...

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**Yes, I know. That chapter was boring, but next chapter is much better!**


	7. Ominous Signs

**Cookies for all!**

**Well, it is once again time to thank my reviewers! **

**Thank you: Blue Mage Quartet, sonic candy, and SergeantKlump. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Nack, Bark, or Bean. Neither do I own KFC. I also don't own the joke that Bean tells Eliah in this chapter.**

**Well, as I like to say...ONWARD TO CHAPTER 7!**

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"What the hell?" Nack asked as he suspiciously prodded the mound of syrup soaked glop with his fork. It jiggled. "What is this crap?" He asked Bark.

The polar bear shifted the mush on his own plate and shrugged. "I think they're waffles...or pancakes...or French toast..."

Nack stared at Bark's plate. "What did you get, oatmeal?" He asked.

Bark shook his head. "No, I think I got a muffin."

Revolted, Nack dug his fork into the sticky mass on his plate, piled a small bite onto the utensil, and raised it up to his mouth. He gingerly took a small bite...and immediately spat it back out.

His plate piled with food, Bean joined Bark and Nack at the small table. Nack gaped at the duck as he started shoving food into his mouth. Bits of mush were sprayed everything as Bean devoured everything on his plate. Nack turned a shade of green similar to that of celery as he watched Bean eat. "How can you eat that slop?" He moaned.

Bean swallowed his mouthful of food and daintily wiped his mouth on a napkin. "It's delicious, Nack!" He exclaimed, gobbling down the last of his food. "I'm getting seconds!" He called. The duck picked up his plate, but before he could leave, Bark grabbed him by the bandanna.

"Don't get anymore of that stuff." Bark said. He too was looking a little green.

"Well then what do we eat?" Bean asked.

"Let's see if we can get Eliah to drive us to a restaurant."

"What about lunch and dinner?"

"We'll stop at KFC and get some chicken wings for dinner and lunch." Bark said as he pushed his chair in. Nack stood up and followed suit. "Let's go." The polar bear said.

"Okay hold on. I'll be right there." Bean said.

---

Eliah raised an eyebrow. "You want me to drive you to a restaurant?" She questioned. Bark nodded. "Why?"

"Because the food here sucks." Nack muttered.

"You don't like my cooking?" Eliah growled.

"No! And here I thought that you women were supposed to be good at cooking..." Nack snapped.

Eliah's eye began to twitch. Just then, Bean, who had been left in the kitchen, walked into the lobby, laughing about something. "What's so funny?" Bark asked.

With one last laugh, Bean took a deep breath. "Snyder was in the kitchen and he just told me the funniest joke. Want to hear it?"

"Sure."

Bean wiped away tears of mirth. "Okay, why did the female cross the road?" Bark desperately tried to shut Bean up as Eliah's nostrils flared. But the idiotic duck continued. "Who cares. She should be in the kitchen! Isn't that funny?" Bean said, once again breaking into uncontrollable laughter. (A/N: I'm not sexist! Don't hurt me...)

Bark nervously glanced over at Eliah. The purple coyote was shaking with rage. Bark quickly spoke up, trying to minimized what ever damage he was sure would come. "Just ignored him, Eliah. He's not right in the head..." Eliah's eye began to twitch more frantically, and Bark could see a couple veins popping.

But before Eliah could beat Bean into a pulp, Natalie walked into the lobby. "Hey Eliah." She said. "What's the matter? You like a dog with a thermometer stuck up his butt."

Eliah pointed at Bean and Nack. "It's those two sexist jerks, that's what's wrong!" Eliah growled. "You won't believe the joke that they just told!"

Natalie gasped. "I love jokes!"

"Okay," Eliah began, "this is the joke that they told me: Why did the female cross the road? Who cares she should be the kitchen!"

Without warning, Natalie burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Haha! That's a good one! Got anymore?"

Baffled, Eliah just stared at Natalie, her mouth hanging open. The black cat wiped away the tears. "Whew, that was a good one. Oh, hey Eliah. I almost forgot: Have you seen Bobbie anywhere? I haven't seen her since last night."

Eliah looked away. "No...I haven't seen her either..."

"Oh okay. Well I'll see you around." Natalie waved goodbye to the four of them and walked up the stairs. Mumbling something incoherent, Eliah grabbed the keys to the limo and walked out the door, closely followed by Bark, Bean, and Nack. She clicked the unlock button on the keys, opened up her door, and sat down on the black leather seat.

Nack motioned to his door. "Ain't you going to open up our door? After all you are the chauffeur..." He added with a smirk.

Eliah put on a pair of sunglasses. With the black shades on and her slick black suit, she looked like something from Men In Black. The coyote started the car. "There ain't nothing wrong with you. You can open the door for yourself, weasel." She said.

Before Nack could object, Bark opened up the door and climbed into the luxurious limo. When all three of them were in the car, Eliah locked the doors and drove out of the parking lot. Fascinated by all the buttons and switches in the limo, Bean could not resist flipping the switch closest to him. His window rolled down, sending a blast of fresh air into the car. The green duck rolled it back up.

Then back down.

Then back up.

Then back down.

Then back up.

Then back down.

Then back up.

Then back...

"Bean!" Nack yelled. "No matter how many times you roll down the window, it'll come back up the same way!" Bean quickly rolled the window all the way up.

"You're so mean Nack." Eliah stated as she drove down the streets of Station Square.

"Shut up and drive." Nack muttered. "Hey, you know what," he said to the purple coyote, "Roll up that little sound proof divider thingy!"

"Fine." Eliah flipped a switch and a black Plexiglas screen blocked off her view of Nack, Bark, and Bean. She would get back at that snobby weasel; the first chance she got, she was going to get him. Actually, she did not have to wait very long for her chance. Just ahead of her, the light changed from yellow to red. Smirking, she slammed on the brakes.

Bark, Bean, and Nack had been conversing about finding a house, when suddenly Eliah slammed on the brakes. Bark and Bean had their seat belts on and therefore were unharmed. Nack however, was not buckled up. When the brakes were slammed, he went flying out of his seat and smacking into the Plexiglas divider. Bark and Bean winced. "My spleen..." Nack moaned as he slowly slid off of the glass, leaving behind a trail of drool. "Damn you, Eliah." He muttered as he pulled himself off the floor.

"Hey look at this!" Bark said, picking up a blue scarf that was wadded up on the floor.

"What is it?" Bean asked.

"It looks like Bobbie's scarf..." Bark said, examining the scrap of fabric. He noticed something else...something very ominous. It was...a shovel. A dirty shovel.

Eliah rolled down the divider. "Alright where do you want me to stop?" She asked.

Sweating nervously, Bark thought for a moment. After all, they might be in the car with a killer... "Uh...just take us to KFC so we can get food for later today."

"Got it." Eliah said as she rolled the divider back up. She drove past several more fast food joints before she pulled into the drive in of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Thankfully, there was no one else in line. "Welcome to KFC, how may I help you?" The young voice on the other end of the intercom asked. Nack, who happened to be closest to the window, placed their order.

"We'll take a bucket of chicken legs, some of those biscuits, some honey barbecue strips, some chicken strips with honey mustard sauce, a large popcorn chicken, and three large Pepsi's." The sleazy weasel ordered.

"Um... Will that be all?" The voice asked.

"Yeah, that'll be it."

"Okay. Your total comes fifty-two dollars and twenty-five cents at the window." The voice said.

"Nack how are we going to pay for all of this?" Bark asked as Eliah pulled up to the window. Nack knocked on the divider, and the purple coyote rolled it down.

"What?" She snapped.

"Can you put this on the hotel tab?"

"Yeah, whatever." The coyote grumbled as she rolled back up the divider.

The fast food window opened up to reveal a young pink hedgehog. "Amy?" Bean asked. "I didn't know you worked at KFC!"

"Hey Bean," Amy said. "It's just to earn a little money. Anyways, you need to pay me now."

"Put it on Chateau Royal's tab." Nack ordered. Amy sighed and typed something into the computer.

"Okay. You're food will be ready in just a second." She studied the limo. "Wow, why are you guys staying at the Chateau?"

"We were staying with Nack, but Bean saw a cockroach and blew up the house." Bark explained.

"Again?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you're food's ready." Amy said handing them several brown paper bags. "Nice seeing you guys."

"You too." Bean said as Eliah pulled out of the drive in and back onto the road.

---

Laden down with so much food, Bark, Bean, and Nack decided to take a shortcut through the courtyard, which was surprisingly empty. They were halfway across the lawn, when Bark stopped. "Did you hear that?" He asked.

"No..."

"There it is again; don't you hear it?" Bean and Nack strained to hear it, but heard nothing. "It's coming from over there." Bark said, motioning to the shrub that Bean had been investigating earlier that morning. That's when Bean heard it too. It was sort of a crying noise.

"Is there someone over there?" Nack asked. Bean ignored the weasel and ran over to the bush. As Bark and Nack followed after him, they could hear the sound getting louder, but it remained muted as if it was coming from under something. A chill came over Bark as he realized that whatever was making the sound was buried beneath the earth. The crying changed to a plaintive moaning.

"Shade Hunter and Heather are coming! We better leave before they steal our food." Bean warned. Bark nodded in agreement and grabbed several of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Bags. Nack and Bean grabbed the rest and quickly hurried into the hotel.

"We got to go back tonight and investigate that sound." Bark said as he, Bean, and Nack walked into their hotel room. "And we're bringing a shovel..."

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**Things are finally starting to heat up! Next chapter is one of my favorites so the sooner you review, the sooner I'll write it! **


	8. Voices In the Night

**ZOMG! IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHAPTERS EVER! (you know it must be good. I'm writing in Caps Lock) **

**Disclaimer: see last chapter**

**ONWARD TO CHAPTER EIGHT!**

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_Later that night..._

Bark was preparing dinner, Nack was watching TV, and Bean was bored. The green duck was uninterested in helping Bark, and he could care less about whatever Nack was watching. Therefore, he was sitting on the edge of the bed in the room that he shared with Bark, staring absentmindedly at the bookshelf. Maybe he should try reading a book. There seemed to be some good ones on that shelf. Hm, _101 Ways to Treat Your Foot Fungus_. No, the thought of foot fungus did not appeal to Bean.

Then there was _Beasts of the World and the People They've Devoured_, but that did not sound good to Bean either. There were books on gardening, but they said nothing about Emo grass, there were books about insects, but they said nothing about blowing up cockroaches, and their were joke books, but there were none that had jokes that would annoy Eliah.

Finally, Bean settled on a yellow book that vaguely resembled a phone book. _Raising the Dead For Dummies _was written across the front in bold, black letters. Totally ignoring the first three words of the title and only focusing on the fact that it said: For Dummies, Bean walked into the kitchen at sat down at the table. Bark, who was heating up the bucket of chicken legs that they had ordered at Kentucky Fried Chicken, eyed the book curious. "What are you reading?" He asked as he popped yet another chicken leg in the microwave.

"Something For Dummies." Bean said, opening up to the first page of the book.

"Right up your alley..." Bark mumbled, but Bean was so engrossed in the book that he did not notice. The microwave beeped, signally that the chicken was done heating up. Bark opened up the microwave and tossed the warm chicken leg into the now full bucket. "Hey Nack!" He hollered, "Dinner's ready!"

Muttering complaints about having his favorite show interrupted, Nack stormed into the kitchen and took a seat across from Bean. "What the hell are you reading?" He asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"A book." Came Bean's simple response.

Nack rolled his eyes. "No duh..." He muttered. "What's it about?"

"Raising the dead." Bean answered, turning the page of the book.

"Like that's possible." Nack snorted skeptically. "You can't raise the dead."

Bark carefully set the bucket of steaming hot chicken legs down in the center of the table and took a seat next to Bean. "Put the book away, Bean. It'll get dirty."

After finishing the page he was reading, Bean carefully marked his spot and slid the book under his chair. "Bark, he asked as he took a leg from the bucket. "is it possible to raise the dead?"

"It don't know." Bark admitted while Nack sadly shook his head. "It might be."

They ate the rest of the meal in silence. Well, if you did not count Bean's loud chewing, Nack's complaints about the duck chewing with his mouth open, and the gurgling and sputtering sounds coming from the sink drain, which Bark suspected was broken.

Once they were done wolfing down the chicken legs, Bean and Nack had begun to have a contest to see who could toss the most bones into the bucket when Bark snatched the bone filled bucket and threw it in the garbage. "What the hell was that for?" Nack demanded, "I was winning!"

Bark shook his head. "We have a to see a bush about a voice remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Bean said as he climbed off his chair and snatched his book from off the ground.

Nack raised an eyebrow. "You ain't bringing that book are you?"

Bean shook his head as he carefully set the book down on the table on his way out of the kitchen. "Let's go!" He said as grabbed the door knob and jumped up and and down. "Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's-"

"Shut up, damn it!" Nack yelled as he walked into the living room followed closely by Bark, who was carrying a small trowel. Bean opened up the door and raced down the hall, down the flight of stairs, past the lobby, down the lower hallway, and out into the dark courtyard. Nack and Bark appeared a moment later, panting and gasping for breath.

Bean was about to say something when Bark covered his mouth with his hand. "Shh!" She hissed. Bean listened intently, trying to hear whatever Bark had heard. It was the sound of hushed voices conversing from somewhere in the darkness.

"No! I've already told you-"

"Come on, be a pal. You're the only one who-"

"Shh, not so loud. You wanna wake up the whole joint?" Bean recognized two of the voices as Shade Hunter's and Heather's, but who's' was the third?

"Look, leave me alone would you? You just don't understand."

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge."

"Listen, we can't do this without you."

"And I told you-"

Suddenly, Bark spoke. "Who's out there?" He asked.

"Ooh..." Heather purred as stepped out of the darkness and onto the dimly lit lawn, "it's the one with the nice fur."

"Why are you out here?" Bark asked.

"Just getting some air." Shade Hunter said as she appeared next to Heather. "What's it to you?"

"It sounded like you were scheming something."

"We're always scheming something," said Shade Hunter, "We're thieves."

Bark did not have an argument for that one. Just then, Natalie's voice rang out through the still night air. "But Eliah, we can't just do nothing. We must find out what's happened to her."

Before Eliah or anyone else had a chance to react, there came a second voice: tiny, plaintive, and so weird that it sent a shiver of fear through everyone. At first it moaned. Then it began to cry out in a strangled sort of way, "Let me out! Please...let...me...out...of...here...!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Bean's frightened cry seemed to make the very walls of the Chateau quiver and shake. As fast as they could, Bark, Bean, Nack, the hotel staff, and the guests hurried across the lawn, where they gathered in a hushed semicircle around the bush that the voice appeared to have been coming from.

Bark glanced to his left. Bean and Nack, their differences forgotten, were huddled together, their teeth rattling. Next to them were the thieves Shade Hunter and Heather who were looking a little more like amateur burglars who just got caught. To Bark's right, The Beaver was singing an inspirational tune in a trembling voice while Ferra whimpered and Snyder shivered.

"What do you think?" Bark whispered to Bean.

"I think there's someone in there," Bean said, gulping.

At that, the general level of rattling, whining, and shivering skyrocketed, and The Beaver burst out singing: "I will be brave. I will be strong. I will be right unless I am wrong." If that was some sort of beaver anthem, then it was pretty wishy-washy. No one bothered to comment, not even Nack. They were all to busy listening their own hearts thumping wildly in their chests.

"Let me out!" Called the voice beneath the ground.

"I don't know about you guys," Nack said, "but I think it's time for a little digging. Bark."

"Huh?"

"You're a good digger; I've seen you."

"Why is it that you only compliment me when you want something?" Bark asked.

Nack turned, a surprised look on his face. "That's not true. Just the other day I told you that I liked your eyes."

"Yes, but when I got up to look in the mirror, you took my spot on the couch."

"Would you two get on with it?" The voice in the ground snapped, "you sound like an old married couple."

Nack and Bark looked at each other. This was getting weirder by the minute. Bark sighed and maneuvered his way over to the bush. He bent down and buried the trowel in the ground. It did not take long for him to find something suspicious. Bones. Large, white, dry bones. The others, even Nack, gasped as Bark, with the help of Bean, laid them out in a line on the ground. Then Bean noticed something else. It was a bracelet with dirt smudged gold letters stamped into it. "M-A-N-D-Y." Bean yelled. "Mandy."

"But what does it mean?" Bark asked.

"This is incredible!" Natalie exclaimed, "We have a real paranormal experience on our hands. This is the real thing. Talking bones! Mandy!"

"But what does it mean?" Bark asked again.

"It was my name," the voice said sadly.

Bean was a couple feet away from Bark, but he could still feel the duck trembling as he whimpered, "I want to go home, Bark. I don't want to stay in a place where bones and bracelets talk."

"I'm not a talking bracelet," said the voice, "I am the spirit of Mandy. These are my bones. In life I was a ferret."

"Good heavens!" Natalie suddenly exclaimed.

"What is it?" Bark asked.

The black cat turned her anguished face to the polar bear. "Poor Mandy..." Natalie moaned. "I knew her well."

"You did?"

"She checked in my first day on the job," Natalie began. "She was supposed to stay here four seven days, but on the fourth day, she vanished! We all assumed that she had left in the middle of the night, but apparently..."

Nack nodded his head slowly. "Apparently she was met with foul play." He said.

"Fowl play?" Bean began, "Surely you don't mean..."

"Murder," Nack finished. Bean gulped.

"Murr-der," Mandy echoed eerily, "Murr-der."

Nack inched his way towards the talking bones. "But why?" He asked. "Why were you murdered?"

It took a moment before the voice spoke again. "Because...I stumbled upon...the truth..." A cold wind blew, and no one dared to speak. No that is, except for a pile of bones and a bracelet named Mandy. "Be warned. All of you must be warned. Leave this hotel before you discover...the secret of Chateau Royal!"

"But-" Bark began.

"Remember me... Remember me..." The voice interrupted, fading away into nothing.

"Wait!" Nack yelled. "What's the secret?"

But it was too late. The voice faded away into nothing. Suddenly, a raucous, ear-splitting scream ripped through the air. "Run!" Nack screamed, and everybody dashed into the hotel. Tripping, stumbling, and screaming, Bark, Bean, and Nack scampered up the stairway, closely followed by The Beaver and Shade Hunter and Heather, who were also staying on the top floor of Chateau Royal. Before Heather ducked into her hotel room, she whispered to Bark. "There's going to be a meeting tomorrow night after dark. Be there."

Before Bark could respond, she slammed her door shut, leaving Bark, Bean, and Nack alone in the hallway, but they quickly locked themselves in there too. But little did Bark, Bean, and Nack know that their night was far from over...

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**OMG! My longest chapter yet! Review to see what happens to Bark, Bean, and Nack!**


	9. The Chickens Are Restless: Part One

**Well, I'm not going to waste time blabbing today. Thanks to all of my reviewers!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bark, Bean, or Nack. I only own Bobbie, Eliah, Natalie, Mandy, and the guests.**

**Also, I forgot to mention this previous chapters. Several ideas, scenes, and some bits of dialogue are from the book that inspired this fiction, but they're only in some chapters. **

**Okay, now as I always say...ONWARD TO CHAPTER NINE!**

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"That was...unusual..." Bark said as he collapsed down on the couch, his heart still beating like crazy. Nack nodded his head in agreement.

"Now what?" Bean asked, sitting down besides Bark.

Bark shrugged. "Go to the meeting and find out what the secret is, I guess. There's not much else that we can do."

"What the hell will we do for breakfast?" Nack asked Bark. "I ain't eating none of that slop."

Bark groaned, stood up, and walked into the bedroom. He returned a moment later with a large, red, cookbook under one arm. "There's flour, sugar, milk, and other stuff in the kitchen." He began. "I think that one of us should make muffins for breakfast."

"Great," Nack said as he yawned and sauntered off into his bedroom, "I nominate Bean." With that said, he slammed the door shut.

Bark looked over at Bean. The normally enthusiastic, excited duck looked just as tired and beat as the polar bear felt. "Do you mind making the muffins?" He asked at last, feeling a little guilty.

Bean shook his head. "Nah, I don't mind."

"Thanks Bean." Bark yawned. He handed Bean the red cookbook, walked off into the bedroom, and shut the door behind him.

Now all alone in the hotel room, Bean walked into the kitchen and set the cookbook down on the table next to the copy of _Raising the Dead for Dummies _before opening up a cabinet and taking out a large ceramic bowl. Once he was done with that, he grabbed what he thought was the cookbook off of the table and flipped through it until he found a recipe.

"Yup. This looks like a muffin recipe!" Bean declared. "Let's see...two cups sugar, one cup milk, one ounce ground coffee beans, half a cup root beer, two ounces dark chocolate, two double A batteries, one smelly sneaker, one-fourth a cup Pepsi, and a pinch of paprika." He read. "Where am I going to find all of that?"

---

After searching the hotel for half an hour, Bean finally had all of his "muffin" ingredients assembled on the table. He had gotten the common items, such as the milk, sugar, coffee, chocolate, paprika and soda out of the kitchen, the batteries out of the TV remote, and the smelly sneaker off of Bark's foot. "Okay," Bean said, turning back to the book, "time to mix the batter." He began to carefully follow the "muffin" recipe which read:

_First, mix the dry ingredients: sugar, ground coffee, and paprika together in a large skull (if you haven't recently slaughtered the innocent, then a large cauldron or bowl will be acceptable) Then, add the root beer and mix it with a decaying arm (if no arm is available, then use a spoon). Next, add the milk and Pepsi. Stir it in with your arm (or spoon). Once this is done, you must add the batteries, the sneaker, and the chocolate. Stir together. Your mixture is now ready. Enjoy your zombie army!_

"Zombies!" Bean said when he finished mixing the mixture. "Darn, I thought that this was a muffin recipe!" The disappointed duck opened up the garbage can and dumped the foul mixture (which oddly enough had turned a sickening shade of green even though none of the ingredients were green) onto the chicken bones from earlier that night...

"That was the last of the sugar." Bean stated. "Now I can't make muffins for tomorrow..." He sighed as he placed the bowl and his spoon in the sink. "Might as well go to bed."

---

A loud, noise awoke Bean sometime around one in the morning. He yawned, sat up in bed, and rubbed his eyes. Straining to hear whatever noise had disturbed his sleep, he could barely make out of muffled noise. It sounded like...clucking?

Curious and slightly frightened, Bean pushed asides the blankets and climbed out of the bed. The normal strip of light under the door that always could be seen was now blocked by something... something ... _feathery. _

Bean gulped and opened the door. Standing in front of him was not one, not two, not three, not four, but a whole army of chickens. Zombie chickens. "BARK!" Bean hollered as he slammed the door shut in the chickens' decaying, zombie faces.

The polar bear sat up with a jolt. "What's the matter Bean?" He asked, climbing out of the bed.

"T-there's ch-chickens... Z-zombie ch-chickens!" The duck stammered, breathing heavily. Bark raised a skeptical eyebrow. Bean pointed to the door. "There right outside the door!" He exclaimed, pointing madly at the wooden door, behind which the ominous clucking of chickens could be heard.

"Your just imagining it Bean." Bark said as he walked over to the door and turned the knob. "There's no such thing as..."

"BA-COCK!" A zombie chicken clucked angrily as Bark opened the door. Freaked out, the polar bear immediately slammed the door shut again.

"Bean, what did you do?" He moaned, collapsing back on the bed.

"I don't know... I think I accidentally made a recipe to raise the dead." Bean confessed, "And then I dumped it in the garbage can..."

"This is bad Bean. Bad! We've got to tell Nack." Bark said as he searched the room for a large, heavy object. Finding nothing else, he was forced to sacrifice the TV.

"No! Not the TV!" Bean gasped as Bark heaved the TV up onto his back.

"Open the door." He gasped from under the weight of the big screen. Bean nodded solemnly and opened up the door. The army of zombie chickens charged into the room, clucking loudly. With all of his strength, Bark threw the TV onto the mob of chickens, squishing several in the process. The polar bear grabbed Bean and jumped up onto the large blank screen. Now surrounded by a sea of zombie chickens, Bark desperately searched for a patch of carpet to jump to...

He spotted a small patch a good distance away. Bark leaped off of the TV and made a rather ungraceful landing on the ground. Thankfully, they had landed right in front of Nack's door. With the chickens hard on their heals, Bark and Bean tore the door open, scampered inside, and slammed it behind them. Cursing quite loudly, Nack sat up in his bed and glared at Bark and Bean. "What the hell are you two doing in my room at one in the morning!" He snarled.

"We have a small problem..." Bark said, standing up from the ground. "A small... _zombie _problem."

"Zombies?" Nack echoed. "What the hell did you do, Bean?" He asked the green duck. "You can't even make muffins without screwing up some how can you?"

"Nope!"

Nack yelled some assorted profanities at Bean. Meanwhile, Bark had his ear up against the door. "There coming..." He warned.

"Who's coming?" Nack demanded.

"The zombies..." Bark explained. "They're coming to get us."

"What do we do?" Bean asked, running around the room in a crazed frenzy. "We're going to be eaten alive!" He shouted as the zombies began to pound on the door.

"They're going to break it down..." Bark mumbled as he backed away from the door. Suddenly, the door was ripped from it's hinges. It fell to the ground with a loud _thud_, in the exact spot that Bark had been standing in only a second ago.

Nack's jaw hit the floor as the zombies began to flood the room. "_Chickens? _Zombie _chickens? _You've got to be kidding me!" He exclaimed.

"We're trapped!" Bean shouted as he looked around the room. The zombie chickens drew closer. Their undead eyes glinting wickedly and drool seeping from their undead beaks...


	10. The Chickens Are Restless: Part Two

**Thanks Blue Mage Quartet, SergeantKlump, sonic candy, and Ciel the Hedgehog for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

**And now, ONWARD TO CHAPTER TEN!**

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"No we're not!" Bean shouted, throwing open his bedroom window. Awed, Nack stared down at the courtyard. It would be a long fall...

"Are you crazy, Bean?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

Bark grabbed Nack in one arm and Bean in the other. "We either jump and risk being injured, or we stay behind and get killed by zombie chickens." Nack muttered his agreement, and Bark, not waiting for Bean to agree, climbed up onto the window sill, balancing precariously on the narrow strip of wood. Thankfully, the window was large enough to fit his bulkish frame.

"Hurry up and jump would you!" Nack hollered, "Those damn zombies are getting closer!"

Bark stared down at the courtyard below. It was only a one-story drop, but to Bark it seemed like at least fifty. Suddenly feeling dizzy, the polar bear shut his eyes. "Damn it, jump Bark!" He heard Nack shout. Bark kept his eyes squeezed shut. He could feel the feeble piece of wood he balancing on beginning to come loose. With out warning, the wooden strip gave way, and Bark, Bean, and Nack went plummeting down into the courtyard.

Bark's eyes were forced open as he fell. Besides him, Bean was screaming like a girl, and Nack was swearing at the top of his lungs. Bark looked down at the courtyard. It was getting closer and closer and closer and closer and closer...

Instinctively, Bark reached out to the left and grabbed the only he could reach at the moment: Nack. Quickly muttering an apology that was lost in the rushing air, Bark held Nack out below him and waited for the impact to come.

And it did. Bark slowly opened one eye. He was sitting safely on the grass, his fall broken by an extremely pissed, and extremely squished, purple weasel. "Sorry, Nack." He said as he climbed up off of the weasel. Bean, who had landed safely on the lawn, came running over to his polar bear friend. He resisted the urge to laugh when he saw Nack's twitching body embedded in the lawn.

The purple weasel slowly raised his hand, one finger pointing in Bark's direction. "Apparently," he weakly muttered, "gravity is working just fine..."

"I'm really sorry Nack..." Bark said again, grabbing the weasel's wrist and pulling him out of the ground, leaving a very nice Nack imprint in the lawn.

Nack opened his mouth to hurl some insult at Bark, but the polar bear interrupted him. "Shh...there's someone coming." He warned and pointed to the entrance door. Nack tried squinting into the dimly lit hallway, but all he could see were shadows. Several small, feathery looking shadows.

"They're back..." He muttered, picking his hat up off the ground and placing it back on his head. "Shut the hell up!" He said as Bean began to balefully hum the music from _Psycho. _

"Here they come..." Bark stated as the door slowly creaked open to reveal the army of zombie chickens.

"Maybe if we just stand here," Bean began, "they won't notice us?" He suggested.

"Bean, that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard." Nack muttered.

Bark shook his head and shrugged. "Maybe, but we might as well try it." Nack muttered something inaudible, but if it was audible, it would probably have to be censored. The three of them stood there in the eerie, surreal silence of the courtyard, nervously watching the chicken zombies as they scrutinized every bush, flower, and grass blade.

"They'd have to be blind not to see us." Nack muttered out of the side of his mouth. His comment was ignored, and they continued to stare at the zombie chickens. That is, until the self-promoted leader of the zombies clucked angrily and cocked his head in the direction of Bark, Bean, and Nack. "Ah, crap!" Nack yelled as the chickens charged towards towards them at full speed.

"Run!" Bark ordered.

"To where!" Nack asked, "We're surrounded by a fence in case you haven't noticed!" It was true. A tall wooden fence, too tall to climb over, wrapped all around the courtyard.

"Look!" Bean shouted, pointing to a crooked fence post. "That one looks a little loose."

"Great. Come on." Followed closely by Bean and Nack, Bark ran over to the loose board, which thankfully had no bushes in front of it. The polar kicked it with his foot. It budged. Barely, but still. Bark grabbed the side of the wooden board, and with all his strength, he yanked it free.

"They getting closer!" Bean warned.

"Quick, you and Nack go through the hole." Bark instructed as he tossed the board aside.

The duck and the weasel, both eager to escape the zombie army that was gaining on them by the minute, dove through the hole...at the same time. It was a mess of feathers and fur. "Bean, you idiot!" Nack snapped as Bean accidentally elbowed him in the face. "Let me get through!"

"I was here first!" The green duck argued as Nack purposefully kicked him in the rear. With a sigh, Bark grabbed Bean by his ankles and pulled him out of the fence, allowing Nack to tumble ungracefully onto the sidewalk. Once the sleazy weasel was out of the way, Bean jumped through and made a perfect landing on the spotless concrete.

"Hurry up Bark. The zombies are right behind you!" Bean yelled. Bark glanced behind him and immediately wished he had not. The zombies were very close now. So close that he could see the maniacal look in their beady eyes... He grunted as he stuck his head through the fence. His arms and his upper body made it through until...

"Bean, I'm stuck." He stated. The duck's eyes widened. He grabbed Bark's arms and pulled. Bark did not move.

"Nack help!"

The weasel smirked. He now had a chance to get back at Bark for using his body to break the fall. "You know Bean, I think he looks good there."

"Nack you got to help me please!" Bean begged. The weasel muttered something and grabbed Bark's other arm. The two of them pulled as hard as they could. It was no use. Bark was stuck. "We won't let the chickens get you Bark!" Bean promised.

Bark could feel something tugging at his legs. "Too late!" He shouted as he was pulled through the fence. Through the gap in the fence, Nack and Bean could see half of the zombie chicken army carrying Bark away. The polar bear was putting up quite a struggle, but he was hopelessly outnumbered.

"Bark!" Bean shouted as he started climbing through the gap in the fence. Nack grabbed the back of his bandanna and pulled him back out.

"You idiot! You wouldn't be any help to Bark if you were captured too!" Nack snapped. Bean knew that there was some truth to Nack's words. Saddened at the loss of his friend, he sat down on the curb. He began to think about Bark. All the times they had shared...

His thoughts were interrupted by Nack. "I hate to ruin your moment of sadness, but there's an army of zombies after us!" He hollered.

"Well, what do we do?" Bean asked, standing up off of the pavement.

Nack put on what he imagined to be a devious smirk (aka his "game face") as he pulled his gun out of its holster. "We lure 'em to us and blast their zombified brains out."

"Wait..." Bean said, becoming slightly suspicious, "Why are helping me save Bark? Usually you only want to do something if it involves you getting money."

Nack shook his head. "Well duh!" He spat, "I expect you two to leave me alone and never bother me again! That'll be payment enough for me."

"Oh, okay." Bean said once that matter was cleared up. "Let's go kick some zombie butt!"

Not especially looking forward to the fact that he would spending time with Bean, Nack began to explain his plan to Bean. "Here's what we do..."


	11. The Chickens Are Restless: Part Three

**Sorry about the delay. I've been really busy, and I just started school... ugh... school... Anyways, thanks to all my reviewers: NUTCASE71733, Chaotix Extremist, SergeantKlump, Dogpaddle, sonic candy, and Blue Mage Quartet. **

**Thanks for the ideas everyone!**

**Well, that's all. And now...as I say ever chapter... ONWARD TO CHAPTER 11! **

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It had been roughly twenty minutes since Bark had been abducted by the zombie chickens, and Nack had explained his plan to Bean. The two of them had gotten back into the chateau. Now, the unlikely duo were dashing down the dark hallway, armed with knives, forks, spoons, and whatever other utensils that they could find. But little did they know that their plan was going to go horribly wrong...

"How long do you think the hallway is?" Nack whispered to Bean.

"I don't know!" Bean said, stretching one foot far ahead of him. He cautiously set it down on the floor. "Nope. It doesn't start here." He stated. The duck stretched out his foot again. He felt solid ground beneath his foot. "Nope. It doesn't start here." He stuck his foot out again. Solid ground. "Nope. It doesn't start here."

In the darkness behind Bean, Nack's eye began to twitch. After the sixth round of Bean's routine, the weasel snapped. "Would you shut the hell up?" He hissed as Bean stuck his foot out once more.

"Sorry." The duck said.

Nack ignored the apology. "From now on,_ I_ will walk in front!" The weasel snapped as he stepped in front of Bean.

"Uh Nack-" Bean began.

"Holy crap!" Nack hollered as he stepped out into the nothingness of thin air. Bean covered his ears as a flood of curses echoed around the once silent hallway as Nack bounced down the stairs like a rubber ball. Through his plugged ears, he faintly heard the tell tale _thunk _that signified Nack's arrival at the bottom of the staircase. The green duck slowly uncovered his ears and peered down into the darkness.

"Nack, are you alright?" He asked as he slowly stepped down onto the top stair.

"Stupid gravity..." Bean heard Nack mutter from the bottom of the stairs.

The green duck quickly turned around as he heard a door hinge creak. A strip of yellow light flooded the hallway as the Beaver stepped out of his room. "Hello friend." He said when he saw Bean standing on the stairs. "Is everything alright?" He asked in his velvety smooth voice. "I thought I heard some rather nasty language."

Bean shook his head and motioned to the bottom of the stairs. "My friend Nack didn't see the stairs and fell." He explained.

The Beaver nodded understandingly. "Ah, yes. A common occurrence the darkness of night."

Bean quickly agreed. The Beaver tilted his head, "May I inquire as to why you two are out in the hallways this late?" He asked in that smooth voice of his.

Bean, not knowing exactly what the Beaver had said, explained his predicament. When he had finished, the Beaver shook his head in disbelief. "Zombie chickens? My, my, that is something."

"Could you help us? Please?" Bean begged.

The Beaver smiled, showing off his rather large front teeth, "Certainly friend. May I suggest waking up Natalie and Eliah. Perhaps they will help also."

Bean nodded and stepped down onto the next step. "Shut up and get down here would you!" Nack snapped impatiently from the bottom of the stairs. "I think the chickens broke into the other hallway." He added.

The Beaver detected the worry in the weasel's voice. "You're not worried are you friend?" He asked.

"Me? No!" Nack argued. The Beaver's smile widened as he started down the stairs with Bean close behind him. When the two reached the lobby, the could hear the unmistakable sound that was the angry clucking of zombified chickens.

"It sounds like they've reached the kitchen." The Beaver observed, still not entirely believing the whole thing. The next sound Bean, Nack, and the Beaver heard was also unmistakable. It was the sound of a coyote. A very pissed coyote.

Bean drew out his weapon (which happened to be a fork) and raced across the lobby shouting incomprehensible words. Nack yanked his gun from his belt and ran after Bean. The Beaver shrugged and followed them, walking instead of running.

As Bean and Nack rounded the hallway and crashed through the kitchen doors, they were greeted with a gruesome scene. A scene so gruesome, that it cannot be comprehended by anyone but Bean. "No!" The green duck cried as he kneeled down besides an overturned bowl. "Not the pancakes!"

Nack grabbed Bean by the back of his bandanna and pulled him to his feet. "Would you stop it! Those probably weren't even pancakes!" Nack shouted.

"Yes they were." Bean argued.

"How the hell can you tell?" Nack asked.

Bean defensively crossed his arms. "I just can."

"Oh yeah well-"

"Would you two shut the hell up already and help me!" Eliah shouted from atop the stove (it was off) as she whacked a zombie chicken over the head with a frying pan. "Damn rats!" She hollered as she sent another chicken flying into the wall.

"Uh...Eliah..." Bean said as he stabbed a chicken with his fork. "They aren't rats..."

"What do you mean they ain't rats!" The purple coyote demanded.

"Well...um...they're zombie chickens..." The green duck explained as a chicken snapped his fork clean in half (it was plastic).

"Zombie chickens!" Eliah screeched as she whacked the brains out of another zombie chicken. "You did this didn't you?" She snapped, rounding on Nack.

The sleazy weasel glared at her from his perch on top of the fridge. "What do you think I am? An idiot?"

Eliah opened up mouth to speak, but Nack held up a hand to interrupt her. "That's a rhetorical question. Don't answer that... It's all Bean's fault!" Nack blurted.

"I should've known... This a new level of stupid for you Bean!" She hollered.

"It was an accident!" Bean cried as he pulled a spatula out of his red bandanna. He smacked a zombie in the side of the head as he climbed up next to Eliah. "What do we do?" He asked, glancing nervously around the kitchen.

"We are so screwed..." Eliah muttered as she took out yet another chicken with her deadly frying pan.

-----

Meanwhile...

Bark, who had been outnumbered by the zombie chickens, now found himself carried down the spiraling staircase of some underground passage. The only reason he knew that he was underground was because of the rather tree root that had poked him eye earlier. He could see the outlines of many more tree roots in the dim, eerie light of the passage. He sighed and glanced down at the chicken that was carrying him. He had never really taken a good look at those things before, but as soon as he did look, he wished he had not.

The chicken's rotting, grey flesh was hanging in folds, covered only by several dropping feathers. Here and there, were several long ugly scars that Bark assumed was from being chopped up into little pieces. Curious as to what they tasted like, the polar bit down into the wing of his oppressor. The chicken clucked loudly and released his hold on Bark. The polar bear fell onto the ground and spat out a feather. He gagged. _Those chickens taste like my old shoes. Speaking of which, where is my left shoe?_

However, Bark had no time to find his shoe as the chickens were regrouping around him. "Crap..." He muttered. There was only thing to do... fight his way through the chickens.

A zombie chicken grabbed Bark's arm. The polar bear twisted around and clamped his teeth into the chicken's wing. He tugged on the feathery appendage, and it tore clean off. Bark distastefully spat out the chicken wing and grabbed two chickens closest two him. He used them like a pair of deadly weapons, flailing his way through the masses of chicken zombies. It was like the Red Sea parting before Moses. Chickens dove to the left and right as Bark fought his way through them. Finally, it seemed as though he had reached the end of the chicken horde. Only one brave and incredibly stupid chicken zombie stood between him and escape.

Bark dropped his zombie flails and faced the chicken. Before the chicken could try anything, Bark grabbed his scrawny chicken legs and began spinning him above his head. With a grunt, he released the chicken and watched it soar over the heads of the other chicken zombies. Temporarily distracted by their flying comrade, the zombie chickens did not notice Bark's mad dash for freedom. But as the polar bear neared the exit, the chickens finally noticed his disappearance. The self-promoted leader pointed up the passage and clucked angrily. It was a cluck that could only mean one thing... "Get him".

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**Sorry (again) about the delay. I'll try to update this again ASAP. Please review!**


	12. The Chickens Are Restless: Part Four

**Sorry about the delay. I've been swamped with homework. Ugh... I want the summer back! Well, thanks to all who reviewed. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bark, Bean, or Nack. I only own Natalie, Eliah, and the guests. **

**ONWARD!**

**(This chapter isn't very funny. Sorry.)**

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"Look out Nack!" Bean shouted as he caught sight of a zombie chicken trying to scale the fridge.

The weasel peered around the enormous coffee can he was hiding behind and saw a chicken nearing him. "Holy crap!" He shouted as he quickly pulled his gun from it's holster. As the chicken neared the edge of the fridge, Nack took aim and pulled the trigger, intent on blowing the chickens zombified brains out. However, the so called bullet simply flew out of the gun and bonked the chicken on the beak. "What the hell!" Nack exclaimed as he grabbed the string tied cork, stuffed it back into the gun, and leaped off of the fridge. He made a rather ungraceful landing on the stove between Bean and Eliah. "Bean!" He shouted, "What the hell did you do to my gun? It only fires corks!"

"Bark swapped your real guns with cork guns just in case you tried to kill us!" Bean explained as he whacked a zombie chicken with his spatula.

"Damn it!" Nack yelled, "I ain't got a weapon now!"

"Here," said Eliah as she distastefully threw the frying pan at Nack. The sleazy purple weasel groaned as the metal pan hit him in the stomach and knocked him off his feet. "Whoops," Eliah said sarcastically. From underneath the frying pan, Nack gave her the finger.

"Look out!" Bean hollered as a chicken lunged at Eliah. The purple coyote lashed out with lightning reflexes and grabbed the zombie chicken by the neck. The chicken gave a gurgled cluck he was hurled at the door.

"Holy- Duck!" Eliah shouted as the door opened and the Beaver stepped in. He froze up for a second as he saw a chicken hurtling toward him, but he ducked just in time. There was a dull thud as the chicken smashed harmlessly against the door and slowly slid down to the ground. The Beaver's eyes widened as he stared around the room in total shock.

"Told you..." Bean murmured quietly.

----

By time he reached the top stair, Bark was wheezing and panting. It had not seemed like he had gone down as far underground as he did, but apparently he had. The polar bear wiped the perspiration from his face before he punched open the trap door that he had entered through. The fragile wooden door shattered beneath Bark's heavy fists. With a grunt of satisfaction, the polar bear climbed out behind a bush and into into the crisp night air.

Knowing that there were still around fifty chicken zombies prowling the hotel, Bark expected to hear clucking, but the courtyard was unnaturally silent. There were virtually no signs that zombie chickens had ever been there. Moonlight shone done on the grass, turning it a misty white color. The flowers were also dappled in silvery light. The scene was almost peaceful. Bark would have been tempted to sit down and enjoying the scenery had it not been for a loud crash followed by a very high pitched scream.

Alarmed, the polar bear ran across the grass and ducked into the side door. Normally dark at this time of night, the hallway was illuminated by the dim, flickering light of a flashlight. As Bark drew closer, he could see Snyder, clad in a long flannel shirt, holding the light. Next to him was Ferra. The blue and brown ferret was shivering. The hallway was comfortably warm, so Bark assumed it was from fear. She must have seen a zombie chicken. Standing behind them were Nack, the Beaver, Natalie, and Bean. Nack, Bean, and the Beaver looked quite calm, but Natalie was looking just as scared as Ferra. Maybe she was the one who screamed. "Who screamed?" He asked in a monotonous tone, expecting either Natalie or Ferra to confess. Instead, everyone pointed at Bean. Bark raised an eyebrow.

"What?" The green duck asked. "This giant chicken came out of no where. He was huge!" Bean exclaimed, flailing his arms wildly. "He was like the master chicken so something!"

"You've got to be kidding me." A voice said from somewhere in the darkness. Snyder aimed the flashlight in the direction of the voice, and Bark saw Eliah leaning against the kitchen door. The double metal doors had been barricaded with Bean's spatula. "The chicken wasn't _that_ big." She said, glaring in Bean's direction. "Nack threw a bowl of my special pancake batter at a chicken, thinking he might be able to knock the chicken out, but instead, the chicken started getting bigger and bigger and bigger until it was about three times the size of a regular chicken."

"You serious?" Bark asked, somewhat skeptically. Eliah's cooking was horrible, but it was not that bad... or was it... _I wonder what she meant by special? _Bark wondered.

"Would you like me to show you?" Eliah growled. Bark shrugged, and the coyote stepped away from the door. She slowly slid the spatula out of the door handles and backed away. There was an ominous clucking from deep within the kitchen.

Natalie, Ferra, Snyder, the Beaver, Bean, and Nack (those who had already seen the so called "giant" chicken) backed down the hall a little ways. Bark eyed the door curiously. It rattled slightly and creaked open. "Holy... hell..." Bark said as he looked up into the face of the giant zombie chicken.

"BACOCK!" The chicken clucked, shaking the entire hallway. It angrily flapped its massive wings and stabbed at Bark. The polar bear ducked down and rolled across the ground. Clucking madly, the chicken squeezed out of the kitchen.

"Run!" Bark shouted, pushing the others farther down the hallway. They scrambled over each other, tripping occasionally. All of them were desperate to escape the giant zombie chicken that was chasing them. While the others kept running, Nack made his way over to Bark.

"There's only one thing that makes stuff grow that big." The sleazy weasel said. "It's called kulbiguia." (A/N: I totally just made that up)

"It's a poison," Nack continued, "I know, I've used it."

"So Eliah put that stuff in the pancake batter to try to poison everyone?" Bark asked.

"That's what I think." Nack said as he dove out the side door and into the courtyard. Bark followed after him and slammed the glass door shut, locking them all outside.

"What the hell are we gonna do now!" Natalie exclaimed. "We're locked outside, there's a giant chicken trying to break through the glass door, and it's already two in the morning. We're screwed!" The black cat shouted.

"Wait..." Bark began, "...we aren't _all_ out here. Where's Shade Hunter and Heather?"

Bean shrugged. "Inside?" He suggested.

"We aren't screwed _yet_..." Bark said.

---

Bark was standing on the shoulders of Bean, who was standing on the shoulders of Nack, who was standing on the shoulders of Eliah, who standing on the shoulders of Natalie, who was standing on the shoulders of Ferra, who was standing on the shoulders of Snyder. The Beaver was watching them all, somewhat amused.

Bark tapped on Shade Hunter's and Heather's window. No one answered. He knocked. No one answered. He knocked ever harder. No one answered. He knocked even louder. "Psst!"

Heather threw open the window sill, causing Bark to wobble on Bean's shoulders. "What!" She snapped. "Oh..." she said when she realized who it was, "It's the one with the nice fur." Bark rolled his eyes. "Hey Shade!" Heather called. A moment later a very tired looking Shade Hunter was standing in the window.

"What do you want? Can't you see I was sleeping?" She snarled.

"Look, we need your help." Bark began. "Something really odd happened, and we're all locked out of the hotel."

Shade Hunter stuck her head out the window and snickered loudly. "Would you look at that, Heather."

The black and white cat looked down. "Well... it looks like they do need our help." She giggled.

"Yes, we do!" Bean called out from below Bark. Shade Hunter smirked.

"Please..." Bark begged.

"Bye, bye." Shade Hunter said as she stuck her index finger in Bark's fur. She gently pushed back, and Bark lost his balance. With one last laugh, the white foxbat slammed the window shut.

As Bark fell, Bean got knocked off balance, then Nack, and well... it was the domino effect.

"Now we're screwed." Bark stated as brushed some dirt off his fur. Natalie nodded in agreement.

Without warning, Ferra shrieked and pointed to the glass door. The big zombie chicken had broken through the glass and was running towards them, followed by the remaining zombie chickens. "Crap..." Eliah muttered.

"You know what?" The Beaver said, "I think this is a good time for an inspirational tune..."

"No!" Natalie hollered as she jammed her fingers into her ears.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like meeeeee!" The Beaver sang, singing the last part so loud that if the side door hadn't already been broken, it would have cracked into a million peices.

Eliah was about to shout something at the Beaver when something amazing happened: the zombie chickens stopped charging. They just stood there, clucking balefully and covering their heads with there wings. The eight of them stood there in amazement as the chickens slowly began to fall to the ground and fade away into the earth. "Wow..." Bark said, finally breaking the silence.

Eliah dropped the toaster she was holding in disappointment. "No battle...?"

Bean dropped the bomb he was about to light. "No explosions...?"

"No...diamond studded belt buckles?" Natalie said as she bent down and picked a small shiny square. The letter "B" was stamped in the center of the buckle. "This belonged to Bobbie." Natalie said, holding up the belt buckle.

"What's it doing out here?" Bark asked, glancing over at Eliah. The purple coyote was looking slightly uncomfortable. Had she accidentally dropped it? Bark glanced nervously at Bean. Now that the chicken problem was taken care of, they would have to resume their other mystery...

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**Sorry about the long chapter. I wanted to end the whole chicken thing at get back to the plot. Please review!**


	13. On Another Plane of Existence

_Later..._

Bark was jarred awake by Nack shaking him. "What are you doing?" The polar bear yawned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He sleepily glanced over at the clock. 3:02 AM was stamped across its surface in bold red. "I've only been sleeping for an hour. Goodnight."

"I've come to_ wake_ you." Nack snapped pointedly. "We have a meeting, remember?"

"Isn't that supposed to be tomorrow?" Bark asked as he buried his head in the pillow.

"The Beaver just stopped by to tell us that they rescheduled it to tonight. It was an emergency." Bean quipped from behind Nack. "Him and the others are already down in the courtyard waiting. Come on Bark. Shake a leg!"

Bark yawned again and slid out of the bed. It was the middle of the night and he was hungry. _I wonder if they'll be serving donuts at this meeting. _He wondered as he followed Bean and Nack out the front door. The three of them started down the dark hallway.

"Boy, this is exciting, huh, Bark?" Bean began, "I've never been to a meeting before. Do you think we'll get to vote? I hope so. I've always wanted to say, 'I abstain!' Do you want to hear my speech?"

"Your what?"

"My speech. In case I get nominated for office."

Bark and Nack exchanged glances. "I don't think-" Bark started to say.

"If elected," Bean burst out excitedly, "I promise to get the job done first and talk about it later. The buck stops here, a chicken in every pot. Motherhood, Mobius, and do you know where your kids are? Sure, my opponent accuses me of-"

"Bean," Bark interrupted, "I don't think there's going to be any elections at this meeting."

"Oh," Bean said, "Well maybe I could be sergeant at arms." Fortunately, they arrived in the courtyard before the discussion could go much further. The others were already there, gathered on the lawn. "I move the meeting be adjourned!" Bean cried as they all gathered in a circle.

"Ignore him." Nack advised the others.

Taking Nack's advice, Natalie spoke up. "I'm sorry, but I'm kind of relieved that this happened. I've been hearing this whimpering and moaning for a while, and I was beginning to think that I had lost my mind."

"Well now we've all heard it!" Nack snapped. "So either we've all lost our minds, or what we've heard is as real as any of us."

"Oh, we heard it all right." Ferra said.

"But what are we going to do?" asked Snyder. "We've got to help, but how? It's not like we can just walk out of the hotel and leave a mystery hanging over this place..."

"We should leave and get professional help." Ferra said.

Natalie shook her head sadly. "No can do. The power box was smashed somehow. All the doors out of here are automatic so they aren't working."

"Could we go through the fence?" The Beaver suggested.

"No, I won't fit." Bark sighed.

Shade Hunter shrugged. "So, we can leave fatso behind."

"No one's getting left behind, Hunter." Ferra growled.

"We could dig under the fence, couldn't we?" Bean asked.

"On the subject of digging," said the Beaver, "I have to point out the fence goes a long way down. I don't want to be discouraging, but-"

"What about the gate?" Bark asked. "Or Bobbie's office? Isn't there some other way out?"

Natalie shrugged. "I don't know. Only Eliah's been into Bobbie's office. She knows everything about this hotel."

"Where _is_ Eliah?" Bark asked the black cat.

"There _has_ to be another way out."

Shade Hunter and Heather exchanged knowing glances, an exchange that was not lost upon Bark.

"You know what we're talking about here, pal?" Shade Hunter asked. Bark shook his head. "Max sec."

"Who's Max Sec?" Bean asked.

"Maximum security," said Heather, pronouncing each syllable individually.

"I...I hate to mention it," The Beaver said haltingly, "but Mandy did seem to imply some urgency. Perhaps we should start digging while some find another way out."

"Done!" Nack snapped, "Bark, the Beaver, and Snyder dig. Me, Heather, Natalie, and Shade Hunter will look."

"Where do I fit in?" Bean asked before Bark and the other diggers could form a union and go on strike.

"That's a question I've been asking myself ever since I met you..." Nack mumbled. "You're not strong enough to dig and not smart enough to figure how to get out... Maybe you could squeeze into tight places. Like Bobbie's office..."

"Okay!" Bean shouted, oblivious to the danger of his assignment.

"There's a rise in the fence by that bush over there." Natalie said, pointing into the darkness. "The fence isn't as deep there. That's where you should dig."

"Good thinking," said Heather. "You three suckers will dig while we try to break into Bobbie's office or open the gate. Is everyone agreed?"

"Let's vote!" Bean shouted.

"We don't need to vote!" Nack yelled at the duck.

"Please!"

"Bean," Nack said, "go work on your acceptance speech."

"You mean I won!" He exclaimed, "Wow, and to think I never kissed a baby or threw mud at my opponent. I was looking forward to that part." And he ambled off.

"I been thinking," Shade Hunter piped up, "It's kind of odd that we ain't heard nothing from them bones this whole time."

"You mean Mandy?" Bark asked.

"Yeah, her. What do you say we ask her some questions? Like for instance, What is the secret of Chateau Royal? She was about to spill the beans just before someone screamed."

"Maybe that was Bobbie who screamed." Natalie said. "Maybe-"

"Maybe there's other bones around here." Ferra interrupted.

"You don't mean to suggest," The Beaver began, "That there were others before Mandy who... never checked out?" A shiver ran down his spine.

"What are we waiting for?" Heather asked, "Let's go ask her."

They all crept over to the spot where the remains of Mandy had hastily been covered. Bark called to her softly. She did not answer. He tried again. And again. And again. "Perhaps she's on another plane of existence?" The Beaver suggested, "and she can't hear us right now."

"Well," Ferra said, "they ought to have answering machines on the Other Side so if they're tied up on another plane of existence, you can leave a message after the beep."

"Great idea," said Snyder.

The Beaver suggested they try again in the morning. "Right," Bark said with a loud yawn, "Nothing's going to happen between now and breakfast."

"I ain't sure I agree with you," Nack remarked as they walked back to their rooms. "Anything can happen, Bark. And it can happen anytime. It's true that we gotta do something, but the only way that we're going to be safe, really safe, is for someone to find out the secret of Chateau Royal. If it ain't going to be Mandy, then it'll take someone else. Someone heroic, someone who dares to go where no one has gone before, someone willing to risk life and limb-"

"Wait a minute Nack," Bark said, "If you're trying to flatter me into this..."

"I was referring to myself." Nack said flatly. "_I'm_ going to find out the secret of Chateau Royal, Bark."

"Why do you want to help?"

"Because I have a feeling that a large amount of money is involved."

Bark turned to face him. His eyes were filled with greed and longing. The polar bear knew that there would be no way to sway Nack, no matter what terrible fate might lie in store. I shiver of dread went through Bark.

Even as he tried to fall asleep, he could not shake the chill. Nor could he shake Bean's ranting from the armchair by the bookshelf: "I will not shirk my responsibilities nor forget the promises I made on my way to being elected. More miles to the gallon, more crunch in every spoonful, and a par-tri-idge in a... pear... tree."


	14. The Warning

**Sorry. I've been really busy lately. **

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Morning exercise was not Bark's favorite thing in the world. Let's put it another way: Bark's idea of morning exercise was raising one eyelid followed within the hour by raising the other. Sometimes if he was feeling really ambitious he would roll over in bed.

When he raised both eyelids, he saw that rolling over was not going to cut the mustard today. The bedroom door was open, and in the living room was everyone: Nack, Bean, Natalie, and all the guests. The Beaver was holding several shovels and a rake. _What the? Why do we need a rake for digging? _Bark wondered as he slowly climbed out of bed. "Finally you're up." Nack muttered darkly.

"You could've woken me up." Bark pointed out as he turned off the TV as Bean yelled in protest.

Nack opened his mouth to respond with some snide comment, but Natalie interrupted him. "It doesn't matter." She took a shovel from the Beaver and handed it to Bark. "You'll need this."

Bark blinked sleepily and groaned. He had a full day of digging ahead of him. Just what he needed. _Yeah, right. _

Bean snatched shovel away from Bark. "Hey this looks like the shovel that we found in Eliah's limo!" He exclaimed.

"It's not." Bark said dryly as he took back his shovel.

Bean reclaimed the shovel. "Yes it is. Look, it has the same dent in it that Eliah's shovel had!"

"You can't tell that!" Nack snapped.

"Yes I can! I can prove it!" Bean shouted.

"How?" Nack asked skeptically.

"Bark get me a phone!"

Bark rolled his eyes and took his shovel from Bean. "Bean, you aren't calling who I think you are, are you?"

"Yep!"

"Bean, give me the phone." Bark said.

"But-"

"Bean..."

"Aw, okay..." Bean sighed with disappointment and handed the phone to Bark.

"Thank you." Bark said as he placed the phone back on the receiver.

"Who was he going to call?" Natalie asked out of curiosity.

Bark shook his head. "No one. Bean's been watching a little too much TV lately..." Natalie nodded her head understandingly.

"Whatever, let's just leave now." Heather snapped impatiently. "I want to get this done with quick so I can-" The black and white cat's mouth sealed shut when Shade Hunter shot her a look that could have burned through a safe. Bark and Nack exchanged curious glances.

Ferra slowly opened up the door and stepped out into the hallway, followed closely by Bark, Bean, Nack, and the others. Nack nudged Bark in the ribs none to gently. "What?" Bark asked.

"Have you noticed anything strange about those two...?" The sleazy purple weasel asked in a quiet voice as he indicated to Heather and Shade Hunter. Heather was looking very shifty and nervous. Either she was up to something, or she was expecting the Boogieman to jump her. Shade Hunter was creeping along the hallway. Occasional she would turn and glare at whoever was in the vicinity.

"No," Bark said, "They look normal to me..."

"They're definitely up to something." Nack whispered, his eyes darting over to the cat and the foxbat. "I wonder if they have something to do with the secret of Chateau Royal." Bark shrugged. "I know one way we could find out..."

"What's that?"

"You."

"Excuse me?"

"I want you to pal around with them, Bark. When you ain't busy digging our tunnel to freedom, that is." Bark started to protest, but Nack was already ahead of him. "It'll be easy. You're gonna to be hanging around on their turf anyways. Just see if you can get them to leak some info."

"What are you going to be doing, if you don't mind me asking, while I'm looking for leaks?" Bark asked as he and Nack reached the bottom of the stairs.

The weasel lifted his head and stared off over that the mysterious door that lead to the office. "_I'm_ going inside." He said dramatically.

"Ah," Bark said as he looked over at the office window. All he could see was a flying advertising Emo grass. Yes, apparently Bobbie had been too lazy to hire a gardener... Beyond the flyer, all Bark could see was darkness.

"And how do you think you're going to get in there, Nack?" Bark asked, "It's not like you have an appointment." He pointed out.

"True, but I do have charm." Nack said. Bark cocked an eyebrow at this one. "And if all else fails," the weasel added, "there's Bean."

"True."

---

An hour later, Nack found Bark digging under the fence. "What did you find out?" He asked.

"That charm without an appointment only gets you as far as the door. And Bean says 'hi'."

Bark nodded. Nack looked at the hole. It was not very impressive, but then again he had not been digging very long. Natalie was still on a break that had begun a few minutes after they had started; she was with Ferra and Snyder having smoked Gouda... flavored chips. The Beaver and Bean were trying to see if they could get Mandy talking again. And as for the two burglars...

"What did _you_ find out?" Nack asked Bark.

"Talk about forthcoming." Bark said as he dumped a shovelful of dirt onto the lawn. "I kept track of their answers. There were three 'What's it to you's', six 'What do you wanna know for's', five 'Mind you own business's', and one 'What are you, a police officer?'"

"What kind of questions did you ask?" Nack inquired as he made himself comfortable on Bark's small dirt mound.

"Nine out of fifteen were about the weather."

Nack shook his head, "Where are they now?" He asked.

Bark shrugged, "Either looking for trouble or making it," He stated, "They didn't let me in on their plans."

"Hmm..." Nack said, somewhat frustrated, "This is going to be tougher than I thought... Let's see how Bean and the Beaver are doing."

Bark was pleased to stop digging. Not even halfway through the job and he was already wondering if he would ever get the dirt off his hands. _Lucky Bean, _Bark thought, _Not having to dig at all. _But then Bark saw the usual dazed, confused look on the duck's face and realized that perhaps Bean was not so lucky after all.

The Beaver looked up from where he and Bean were haunched over what Bark assumed were the remains of Mandy and headed toward Bark and Nack like an express train. He was out of breath when he announced, "Oh, dear, oh, dear."

"Calm down," said Bark, "Come on, take a breath."

The Beaver sucked in air with such force that Bark felt his fur tingle. "Oh, my, oh, dear, oh, my," he exclaimed as he exhaled. "This is terrible, just truly awful."

"What?" Bark asked, not sure that he wanted to know.

"You tell them Bean." The Beaver said as Nack and Bark approached the frightened duck.

"It was a warning!" Bean shouted so loud that Bark was sure the people in China heard.

"We asked her about the secret," The Beaver continued, "At first she wouldn't talk. Then when she did, it was more of a riddle than an answer: 'My fate is a mirror in which to see. One look in and end like me'."

Nack nodded slowly as he repeated the words. "My fate is a mirror in which to see. One look in and end like me." He looked of towards the hotel. It appeared that Eliah was now where to be seen. "This is my chance. Maybe I can find something. Like treasure..." Nack added under his breath.

"But Nack," Bean said, "The warning." The weasel was halfway across the lawn when Bark said the rest. "What if Mandy means _you_?"

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**Please review. I'll try to update again before Friday. **

**-Dandylions**


	15. The Secret of Chateau Royal

**Sorry, this chapter is a little on the short side. **

* * *

Nack was gone for most of the afternoon. Bark spent the whole time digging. His progress was slow, slower than a sick, legless cockroach. Snyder and the Beaver were more talk than action, and Bean had left a long time ago do go do whatever it was that Bean did in his free time. Bark was getting more worn out by the minute. And the wooden fence seemed to have no bottom.

It was late in the day before Nack returned, a victorious expression on his face. Bark looked up as the weasel jerked his head towards the building. Bark laid down his shovel and joined him. "Nice of you to show up." He said flatly. "Don't tell me that you've spent this whole time talking murder with Eliah?"

Nack narrowed his eyes threateningly. Bark raised his eyebrow, and Nack looked around. "I've discovered the secret of Chateau Royal!" His hissed in a voice so low that Bark had strain his ears to hear it.

"Really?" He asked somewhat skeptical.

"Wow!" Said Bean as he butted into the conversation. Apparently he had been poking around the bushes.

"It's a code, so I still have my work cut out for me."

"Is it a common code?" Bean asked. "Or more of a flu?"

"It's a _number_ code." Nack said, gritting his teeth. "All I have to do is make sense of it. When I first went into the office, I didn't see nothing suspicious. The only thing in that room is a some kind bird in a cage. All of a sudden it started screeching these numbers over and over again. Over and over. It's gotta mean something." He looked around to make sure no one was listening, leaned in towards Bark and Bean, and hissed very softly, "Six-one-one-one-five."

_"Six-one-one-one-five?" _Bean yelled excitedly.

"Bean!" Nack yelled, annoyed.

"That's it!" Someone shouted.

_"Ee-yes!"_

Bark, Bean, and Nack looked up. Shade Hunter and Heather grinned down at them from the top of a large maple tree. With one last salute, the two of them jumped out of the tree and ran towards the hotel.

"Nice going." Nack snapped at Bean.

Bean lowered his head sheepishly and looked back up at Nack. "Sorry, Nack. I get carried away."

"Don't tempt me." Nack grumbled. "Now where are those two off to? And why did they want to know the code? I'm telling you Bark, those two-"

Nack was cut off by the sudden squawking of a bird. It was coming from inside the hotel. _"New one coming tonight! New one coming tonight! Ferra found it! She gotta go! Ferra gotta go!" _

Bark looked around. Snyder and Natalie were snacking on chips, but they had paused when they heard the warning. Shade Hunter and Heather stopped in their tracks halfway to the door. The Beaver poked his head sharply out from behind a bush. He turned sharply. Bark followed his gaze over to Ferra. The brown and blue ferret was quivering with fear.

"Too late!" Mandy cried, "Too late!"

The side door slowly opened to reveal Eliah. The purple was clutching her shovel in one hand and Ferra's bags in the other. She slowly walked the whole length of the courtyard. Reaching Ferra, she dropped the suitcase. "You've been evicted." She said slowly as she grabbed the back of the ferret's shirt and dragged her away. As she neared the door, the ferret let out a piteous moan, one that filled the very air with sadness and left it empty as the sound died away. "The rest is silence." She said. Eliah tugged on her shirt and the door closed.

And the rest was silence.

* * *

**Once again, sorry for the shortness. I'm going to go start the next chapter right away. **


	16. The Arrival of Elsie

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bark, Bean, or Nack. Neither do I own Elsie. She is owned by Blue Mage Quartet. I only own Eliah, Natalie, and the guests.**

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Silence remained like an unwanted guest. The only thing that broke it was Nack's muttering from the chair besides Bark. Him, Nack, and Bean were sitting in the lobby. Numbers, letters- Bark knew what Nack was up to. He was trying to decipher the code.

After Ferra's "departure", although no one had said as much, it was clear that everyone in the hotel was thinking the same thing: Something terrible was going to happen to her. Nack was convinced that the answer lay in the code, which was going to reveal the secret of Chateau Royal and somehow help them understand the fate of Ferra.

As it turned out, it was not the code that helped them as much as a ditsy cow who arrived later that night...

...but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

The sun was just beginning to set when Nack suddenly cried, "Bark!"

"What!" He was so surprised that when he jumped a foot out of his chair.

"I've got it," he whispered hoarsely. Bark leaned in closer. He did not want Bean to hear, just in case he blurted it out again.

"I've been substituting numbers for letters." The sleazy, yet clever weasel began, "It took a while to get the right combo, but but I think I've got it now. I'm positive. Six, one, one, one, five. Six equals _F_, that's easy."

"If you say so." Bark said.

"One is _A_," Nack continued, ignoring Bark, "the next two ones are eleven; that equals _K_, and the five means _E_. Put them all together and it spells _fake. _Get it?"

"No," Bark admitted, "Fake what?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe Eliah's a fake. Maybe she forges documents, makes counterfeit money in the basement. Whatever it is, my guess is that Chateau Royal is nothing more than a cover for some shady, sleazy operation. Mandy must have found out. Then Ferra."

"And now you." Bark gulped.

"Correction," Nack said, "Now _us_."

Bark gulped again. This time it stuck in his throat. Nack dashed over to the door. "Now if you excuse me, I have some bones to talk to." And he was gone.

Just like a weasel. They tell you your a dead one, and then they go off to talk to an even deader one. Well, Bark was not going to sit around and think about some terrible fate; no he had some figuring to do. He leaned back in the chair and began to think.

_Fake. _

What did it mean? After several seconds, Bark's head began to throb from all the thinking, and he was getting nowhere. He decided to ask Bean. Maybe if he did half of the thinking, Bark's head would not hurt so much. "Do you think Eliah is a quack?" The polar bear asked.

"You mean someone who specializes in ducks?" Bean asked stupidly. "Now that's what I call fowl practice. Get it, Bark? _Fowl _practice?"

Bark sighed and rolled his eyes. For some reason, his head was hurting more instead of less. Bean was obviously not the best person to ask... "A quack is someone who's a fake, a phony. If Eliah is caught making fake whatever, she'll get thrown into jail."

"That would be terrible," Bean stated, "There's no ducks in jail! Except Cousin Rick, but he doesn't count because he's half chicken..."

Bark had the feeling that he had just lost Bean. Just then, Nack appeared in the hallway. "Bark, Bean," he sighed, "As hard as this is for me to say... I need you."

Bean ran over to Nack and threw his arm around the sleazy weasel's shoulders. (Probably not the smartest thing to do, but hey, this is Bean we're talking about) "Aw, Nack. We need you too; don't we Bark?"

The Beaver suddenly popped up next to Nack. "I couldn't help but overhearing, and if you don't mind my saying so, it's about time you three lovable guys told each other how much you care! What a beautiful moment... There's a little song I could sing-"

"Mandy's not talking." Nack said before the Beaver could finish his sentence, let alone break into song. "I thought maybe she'd talk to you, Bark?"

"I'll try." The polar bear sighed.

"Me too!" Bean shouted.

"I'll sing backup." The Beaver said.

And off they went.

It was no good. After fifteen minutes of calling Mandy's name, of asking her the meaning of _fake, _of telling her what happened to Ferra- all to no avail. All she did was moan and repeat the strange little rhyme over and over again. They were about to give up and go up to there rooms when a loud commotion broke out. "It's coming from the lobby." Bark observed as he, Nack, Bean, and the Beaver dashed through the side door.

When they reached the lobby, what could only be described as a spectacle was taking place. Eliah, in all of her fury, was standing between the check-in counter and a cow. Bark was not sure, but he thought he saw foam coming out of the coyote's mouth...

"What the hell are you doing here?" Eliah howled.

""In Cyberland, we only drink... Diet Coke." The cow recited. Bark and Nack exchanged glances.

"I came to visit!" The cow cried. "You said I could!"

"I said no such thing, Elsie!" Eliah shrieked. "Don't you have anything better to do? Something far, far away from me!"

"Nope!" Elsie said, digging through her suitcase. "I brought you guys some food from the Jade Palace! Please let me stay. Please, please, please, please..."

Behind the check-in counter, a very puzzled Natalie who was most likely thinking, _WTF, _noticed Eliah slowly reaching for the handgun that she kept hidden in her belt. She sweat dropped. "Eliah! Just let her stay. How much trouble can one cow cause?"

Boy, were they in for a surprise...

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**Please review, and have a nice day!**


	17. Break In

**(dances crazily) Whoot! This story's coming along great. ONWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! **

Disclaimer: See last chapter.

(This chapter isn't very funny. Sorry)

* * *

"Fine, she can stay! Just keep her away from me and the office." Eliah growled as she retreated into the solitude of Bobbie's former office.

"That's not even your office!" Natalie called after the coyote, "It's Bobbie's!"

Bark, Bean, and Nack glanced at each other. It was time to tell Natalie what they suspected. "Uh, Natalie..." Bark said as he approached the counter. "We need to tell you something very important..."

The black cat vaulted over the counter. "Not now, Bark. I need to get Elsie checked into a room. Things have gotten a lot harder since Bobbie's disappeared..." The cat trailed off as she grabbed Elsie suitcases and walked up the stairs.

"Hi, I'm Elsie!" The ditsy cow introduced herself.

"So we've heard..." Nack said.

"Why did you come here?" Bark asked curiously.

"In Cyberland, we only drink... Diet Coke." Elsie said once more. Nack rolled his eyes.

"I came to visit my good friend Eliah! Why do you ask?"

"Good friend...?" Nack asked in disbelief.

"Um, Elsie could we talk to you for a second?" Bark asked as he clamped his hand over Nack's mouth.

"Okay!"

The four of them retreated into the shadows of the hallway just in time. As soon as they vanished, the office door flew open, and Eliah stormed out, her shovel clutched in one hand. "Damn cow..." She muttered as she exited out the front doors.

Bark breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to talk to Elsie. But before the words could escape his mouth, he witnessed a very strange sight. Shade Hunter's head poked out from behind the check in counter. "She's gone; this is our chance!" The foxbat hissed. "Hurry up with those lights!"

A few hours ago, the emergency power generator had clicked on, allowing the lights in the building to work, but now it looked as if the lights were going out again. "Found the switch!" A voice that could only be Heather's whispered hoarsely. The was a faint _click_ and the lights flickered out.

"Uh oh." Bean said, "This doesn't look good." In the darkness besides the duck, Bark agreed. Night had fallen so the hotel was pitch black. Until Natalie stumbled onto the switch again, they would be living in total darkness. Heather and Shade Hunter could get away with anything and Bark would be powerless to stop them.

In the distance, the office door clicked open. "Very interesting," Nack murmured softly.

"What's going on!" Elsie asked quiet loudly.

"Ssh!" Nack hushed the bovine, "Shut up would you!"

"Hey, your not that nice!" Elsie stated, pointing out the obvious.

On the other side of the room, the voices stopped. "Did you hear something?" Heather asked Shade Hunter.

"D'oh!" Bark slapped himself mentally. They would have to keep Elsie quiet if they did not want to be noticed. "Elsie, this is Bark talking. Please be quiet!" The polar bear whispered urgently.

"Hi, Bark! That's a mmf scmph!" The rest of Elsie's sentence became incomprehensible as Bark clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Ssh!" Nack hushed her again even though Bark had everything under control.

Something jingled in the darkness. "It was probably nothing." Shade Hunter snapped. "Hurry up would you!"

From somewhere in the office, Bark, Bean, Nack, and Elsie heard Heather screech out several profane words. "What's the matter?" Shade Hunter asked, safe in the doorway.

"There's a flicky in here!" Heather whispered angrily.

"So what? It's just a damn bird!" Shade Hunter whispered loudly.

Back in the hallway, Elsie turned to Bark and Bean, "So what are you two doing here?" She asked, totally oblivious to the situation that they were in.

Bark winced. They really needed to keep quiet... "The usual." He grumbled.

"Yup!" Bean agreed, also oblivious to the situation, "Solving mysteries, talking to bones, and fearing for our lives."

"That sounds fun!" Elsie said, "Can I help? Please, please, please!"

Nack covered his ears. "You can if you shut up!" He hissed.

"Okay, deal. So what-"

_"Oh what is it again?" _The flicky shrieked, interrupting Elsie, _"What is it again? Six-one-one-one-five. Six-one-one-one-five... two! That's it, two! That's it, two!" _

"That's it!" Another voice echoed from the office.

"My gosh!" Elsie yelled, "What's going on here?" The bovine's voice shattered the silence like a sledgehammer. Whoever had yelled fell silent.

"Six-one-one-one-five-two!" Nack cried, "That spells _fakeb_! Eliah is a _fakeb_?"

"Would some one please tell me what's going on?" Elsie shouted, "I'm as confused as a coyote in a tree!"

At that moment, there was a loud crash followed by a feminine grunt. Bark and the others saw a quick flash of bright light before it extinguished itself. "Ouch!" Someone in the darkness shouted. Bark heard the office door slam shut. "Hello?" The voice shouted, "Is anyone down here?"

"Over here!" Bean shouted. The duck heard the _click-click_ of shoes against marble tile as the voice made her way over to the hall.

"Who's there?"

"It's me, Bark, Nack, and Elsie." Bean stated. "Who am I talking to? A ghost?"

"It's Natalie you idiot!" The black cat said as she crouched down besides Elsie. "I was upstairs putting Elsie's luggage away when the power turned off."

"Heather turned it off. We saw her." Bark said.

"Well, I had a candle and a cigarette lighter with me so I lit a candle." Natalie continued. "Then I tripped down the stairs, and the candle went out."

"We saw you, er- _heard_ you." Bark stated. "Heather and Shade Hunter broke into the office once Eliah left. What's in there that they would want?"

"Well," Natalie said, "There's a safe in there, but only Bobbie knew the combination, and there's an old staircase that leads to nowhere. That's about all."

"So there's nothing worth stealing?" Nack asked.

"Nope. I don't know why that foxbat and that cat are in there." Natalie said. "There's nothing to take. Except the flicky, but who would want to take her?"

"In Cyberland, we only drink... Diet Coke!" Elsie recited from the darkness.

"Huh? Are you alright?"

"She does it all the time." Bark assured.

"Oh. Okay..."

"Natalie, do you have a key to the office?" Nack asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because we need to get in. Now."

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**Please review!**


	18. Through the Office Door

**I have a couple of announcements to make before I proceed to the next chapter:**

**1. There is only a few chapters left.**

**2. I probably won't be making a sequel because I'm going to start writing a story in another video game category.**

**That's all. ONWARD!

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"Um... okay..." Natalie said, slightly suspicious of Bark, Bean, and Nack. There was a faint rustling of fabric as the black cat reached into her suit pockets. Bark could hear a set of keys clinking softly together. Natalie tossed them in Bark's direction. "Here you go. Whatever you're doing, leave me out of it!"

"Oh, no you don't." Nack said as Natalie stood up to leave. The black cat sighed and grumbled something inaudible.

Bark shrugged, "Sorry, Natalie, but you have to come with us."

"Yeah, what if there's danger? We'll need a distraction." Nack sneered.

Bark rolled his eyes, "What if we run into another locked door? We'll need you to unlock it for us."

"Fine..." Natalie grumbled.

"Good." Bark hooked the keys onto his finger. The polar bear stood up and peered around the corner. All he could see was darkness. It was almost a relief; Bark half expected to see Eliah sneering down at him, about to brain him with a shovel.

He ducked around the corner and motioned for the other four to follow him. Bark stumbled around the darkness, blindly groping around for the door. "Will you help me please?" The polar asked in a monotonous tone.

"In Cyberland we only drink... Diet Coke."

"Shut up, Elsie." Nack grumbled as he banged his head on a low hanging chandelier. "Ouch! Damnit!" He snapped as he rubbed the quickly growing bump on between his ears. The weasel took several paces back and smacked into Elsie.

"Ouch! Who bumped into me?" The confused cow asked.

"It's me!" Nack shouted.

"Who's me?" Elsie shouted, "Who are you! What do you want with me!"

"Damnit, Elsie!" Nack yelled.

"How do you know my name! Are you a ghost?" The ditsy bovine asked.

"Damn you Elsie! It's me, Nack!" The enraged weasel shrieked.

"Oh... who's Nack?"

Nack shrieked a wide vocabulary of curses as he lunged at the cow. What he did not know was that Elsie was standing against a wall. To be more specific, she was standing against the door.

Elsie heard Nack yelling and stepped to the side. There was a sickening thud as Nack flew past her and smashed into the doorknob. "I... found... the door..." The weasel mumbled.

"Hey, Bark!" Bean shouted, "Nack found the door!" Upon hearing the duck's shout, Bark slowly made his way over to the door. Natalie and Elsie crowded around him as he stuck the key in the lock.

"Ouch..." Nack groaned as Natalie stepped on his tail. The weasel heard a faint _click_ as Bark unlocked the office door. The polar bear opened the door and held it open as Bean, Natalie, and Elsie quietly stepped inside the office.

"Wait... Elsie!" Nack called from the ground, "Will you help me up?" The purple weasel asked in a whiny voice.

"In Cyberland we only drink... Diet Coke!" Elsie recited as she slammed the door shut in Nack's face.

"Ah..." The weasel gasped as the door closed shut. "Damn..."

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Now inside the office, Natalie grabbed the flashlight from off the desk and clicked it on. The dim, watery light lit up the room that Bark and Bean had wanted to see for so long. ...And it was not much to look at. The desk was old and riddled with holes dug by various insects. A few dusty books were stacked on top, alongside a broken lamp. Besides that, the only other thing was a battered wire cage containing a sleeping flicky.

"Wow..." Bark sounded unimpressed as he scanned the room. "It's not as great as I thought it would be."

"It's kinda small..." Bean said, feeling a little claustrophobic as he squeezed in between Bark and Elsie. "I always thought it would be a little bigger..."

"So did I." Natalie admitted as she examined a dusty television that had been stashed in a corner. Empty soda cans and candy wrappers had been carelessly thrown onto the floor. On top of the television stand, Natalie could see black scuffs that had been left behind by Eliah's boots. It was kind of obvious what the purple coyote did in her spare time...

"Hey what's this?" Elsie asked, pointing into the darkness. Natalie shrugged.

"It looks like a safe." Bark observed as he walked over the wall where Elsie was standing. "Do you know the combination?" He asked Natalie.

"Nope," the black cat said, "Unless a key opens it, I can't help you."

"Wait a second Bark!" Bean yelled excitedly, "Six-one-one-one-five-two. It's a combination!"

"Wow," Natalie said in disbelief, "I think Bean might be... right... for once."

"Let's find out." Bark said flatly as he grabbed onto the lock and spun it. There was a faint _click_ as the lock stopped and the safe door swung open. "Wow, he was right. Nack's going to have a cow. Wait... where is Nack?"

"I left him out there!" Elsie said, hitching her thumb back towards the door.

"Oh, okay. At least he won't cause any trouble from out there." Bark said, totally unconcerned. Why should he be? Nack would have left them out there in heartbeat.

"Well, what's in the safe?" Natalie asked, getting slightly impatient. Bark climbed inside. The polar bear had expected to find treasure, counterfeit money, or at least some fake documents, but instead...

"It's... empty!" He said, somewhat surprised.

"What! Lemme see." Natalie pulled Bark out of the safe and stuck her head inside. "Whoa..." She said after a moment.

"What?"

"It isn't empty... There's a trap door!" The black cat exclaimed as she climbed back out, blinking the dust from her eyes.

"Where's it lead?" Elsie asked.

"How am I supposed to know!" Natalie asked defensively.

"Didn't you open it?" Bark asked.

"...No."

Bark pushed her out of the way and climbed into the safe once more. "Where is it?" He asked.

"The back wall." Natalie sniffed.

Bark nodded, even though he knew Natalie could not see him. The polar bear found the handle and pulled. It did not budge. He pulled again. It did not move. "I think it's stuck." Bark said.

"Try pulling."

Bark sighed and shoved the door with all his might. It still did not move. "It's still not moving."

Natalie cleared her throat to issue orders. "Bean push Bark, Elsie push Bean, and I'll push Elsie." The three lined up, preparing to shove each other with all of her might. "On the count of three," Natalie said, "One, two, three!"

Bark shoved against the wall with all of his strength as he felt Bean pushing his backside. The door still did not appear to be moving. Suddenly, the door gave way. Bean, Elsie, and Natalie had been pushing with all of there strength, and the force carried over and knocked them into the safe and out the door into the darkness.

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**Please review!**


	19. Enter the Coyote

**WHOOT! OVER 1,000 HITS! Thank you all my loyal reviews and readers. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nack,** **Bark, Bean. They are owned by Sega. And Blue Mage Quartet owns Elsie. I only own the staff and the guests. **

**Onward to chapter 19!**

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"Ugh... where are we?" Bark asked as he pulled himself out from underneath Bean, Elsie, and Natalie. The polar bear looked around, but he was not seeing much. Only darkness... He looked up. About ten feet above him, he could see the dim outline of the safe they had fallen through.

"Bark?" Bean called from the darkness. "Where are you?"

"Over here."

"Where are we?" Bean asked as he slowly made his way towards the sound of Bark's voice.

"I have no idea. Wait..." The polar bear felt around until he found the still forms of Elsie and Natalie. "Hey... you two. Get up." He said as he roughly poked Natalie's shoulder. The black cat slowly opened one eye.

"What? Where are we?" She asked as she clicked on the flashlight, "It looks like some sort of basement..."

Bark took the flashlight from her and handed it to Bean. "Hold this." He instructed as he kicked Elsie. "Get up. Elsie..."

"It wasn't me; it was the zombie fan girls!" Elsie shouted as she sat up. "Oh... where am I?"

"We don't know." Bark admitted. "Knock it off Bean." The polar bear added, catching sight of the duck casting shadows shaped like butterflies on the wall. "Now..." He continued, "We need to find a way out, hopefully before Eliah comes back into the office..."

Bean, bored with Bark's talking, shone the flashlight up onto the ceiling. He saw several cobwebs, a lot of dust, and a spider which he decided to name Jerry. Then he shone it down at the floor. The floor was made of concrete, and like the ceiling, it was covered in dust. The duck shone the flashlight at Bark. The polar bear held up his hand to block the light, but continued talking. _Wow, _Bean thought, _Bark casts a long shadow..._

The duck's eyes followed the shadow across the floor and up to the edge of the wall. Where the shadow and the wall met...

"Uh, Bark?" Bean interrupted.

"What?" Bark said, somewhat annoyed at being interrupted.

"Is that door supposed to be there?" Bean asked, pointing to a wooden door that Bark's shadow fell on.

Bark, Natalie, and Elsie rushed past Bean and towards the door. Bark took Natalie's keys out of his scarf, where he had been keeping them safe, and stuck a small gold key into the door's look. He turned it, and the door swung open with an ominous creak.

"Give me the flashlight." Bark said to Bean. The green duck handed it to him. Bark shone the beam of light into the dark passage way, revealing a long wooden staircase that lead down into the black mists of the unknown.

"Creepy..." Elsie said. "This is almost as creepy as the time when everyone thought I was dead but I wasn't..."

"Elsie," Natalie interject, "We don't need to hear about your private life."

"Sorry..."

"Okay..." Bark said, holding the flashlight tightly in his hand, "Who wants to go down first?" He asked.

"I will!" Bean volunteered. The duck slipped past Bark and the others and ran down onto the first step. The ancient wooden step creaked under Bean's weight, and for second Bark feared it would clasp. But the step held up, and Bean ran down several more steps. "Come on!" He called to Bark, Natalie, and Elsie.

Elsie pushed Natalie aside and ran down to join Bean. The stairs still held. Natalie shrugged and walked past Bark. The black cat nimbly hopped down the wooden stairs, and landed one step below Bean. "Come on Bark!" Bean called. "The stairs held us; they'll support you."

Bark gulped and gingerly placed one foot down on the stair. He was no where near as light as the others, and these stairs looked incredibly old. The polar bear gingerly placed the other foot down. The step groaned in protest; Bark could feel it shudder under his weight, but thankfully it held up. Breathing a sigh of relief, he quickly ran down the steps.

"See, they didn't break." Bean said as Bark passed him up and trotted down the steps. Bark merely grunted in reply. Bean shrugged and ran after Bark.

By the time the Natalie and Elsie caught up to Bark and Bean, the polar bear and the duck were already at the bottom of the stairs, waiting somewhat impatiently. Bean had regained possession of the flashlight and was examining the room with it. The walls and floor were the same as the other room- concrete and dust. The only difference was that when Bean shone the light onto the ceiling, the ceiling appeared to be composed of tree roots.

"We're probably somewhere under the courtyard." Natalie observed as she poked around the room.

"What are you looking for?" Elsie asked.

"A door. Ooff! I think I might have found it. Bean shine the light over here." The black cat instructed. The green duck reposition the flashlight beam so that it was shining in Natalie's face. "Thanks, now get it out of my face and shine it on the wall!" She shouted.

Taken aback by the cat's anger, Bean fumbled with the flashlight for several minutes before getting it to light up the wall. When he finally got it to shine on the wall, everyone in the room could see a large wooden door. Natalie grabbed onto the handle and pulled it open. She grinned. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the basement."

The swung open, as if pushed by some invisible force. When Bark caught sight of the room before him, his jaw hit the floor. How long had Eliah been doing this?

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"Where'd they go, weasel?"

Nack, still lying on the floor, peered into the darkness. He could see the dim outline of Eliah standing over him, shovel and all.

"I said, where'd they go?" She growled.

"Office." Nack stated as Eliah grabbed him by his tail.

"Did they now? Well you're coming with me!"

Nack groaned as Eliah opened up the office door and dragged him inside.

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Bark and the others cautiously stepped into the room. Torches lined the whitewashed concrete walls, giving off a dim watery light. Against the wall was a table covered in various objects, such as what appeared to be a journal, several books on supernatural topics, a skeleton of a flicky, and an extra, most likely loaded, handgun.

"Wow... This is somewhat disturbing..." Natalie said as she examined the desk.

"I wonder what happened to Bobbie and Ferra..." Bean trailed off as he looked around the room. On the other wall was a set of chains and manacles along with a large fireplace with a pleasant, crackling fire burning in it.

"I wonder what's so secret about this room." Bark, looking around. Despite the eerie atmosphere, there seemed to be nothing unusual about the room. No treasure, no fake money, no fake documents. Nothing that Nack had imagined was down here.

"Freeze!" Bark, Bean, Elsie, and Natalie all froze and spun around. Standing in the doorway was Eliah. Cowering behind her like a scared puppy was Nack. The coyote dropped the shovel and drew the gun she kept hidden in her belt. She pointed it at Bark. "I see you've found out 'the secret of Chateau Royal'." She growled. "To bad you won't live long enough to tell anyone!"


	20. The Truth Revealed

**In case you haven't noticed... I'm trying to finish this story. :)**

**I'm pushing the rating with this chapter... Things get a little violent. **

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"Crap..." Bark muttered as he slowly put his hands halfway above his head. 

"I ain't no cop!" Eliah snorted, "What are you raising your hands for?" Bark shrugged and put them back at his side.

"Alright, Eliah!" Natalie snapped, "What the hell is going on?" The black cat asked.

Eliah aimed the gun at Natalie. "You, shut up." The black cat clamped her mouth shut and gulped. Bark and Bean exchanged nervous glances. Eliah with a shovel was bad, but Eliah with a gun was even worse.

"Where's Ferra and Bobbie?" Bean asked at length.

Eliah re-aimed the gun, pointing the muzzle in Bean's direction. "You'll see them momentarily." The purple coyote sneered. Bark looked over at Bean and flashed him a quick hand signal. _Please understand me... _Bark hoped silently.

The green duck gave him a quick wink and reached back behind him. Bark, knowing Eliah was going to get suspicious, took it upon himself to distract her. "So... smash any heads in lately?" He asked. The ploy worked. Eliah pointed the gun at Bark.

In the blink of an eye, Bark saw Bean hurl a bomb at Eliah. The nimble coyote dodged it with ease. It landed in the doorway she had been standing in only moments before. There was a loud explosion, and dust and bits of debris rained down on the six of them, burying them in a pile of concrete chunks and dirt. Bark coughed violently and instinctively raised up his arms to cover his face. All around him, he could hear the others coughing in the thick dust.

He wrenched his eyes open and blinked several times to clear the dust from them. He could see the dim silhouettes of Bean, Elsie, Nack, and Natalie. He could not see Eliah anywhere. Still coughing and gasping for breath, the polar bear pulled himself out of the waist deep debris. Through the dust, he could see a massive hole where the doorway had been located.

Bark stumbled through the concrete chunks until he found Bean. The duck had raised his red bandanna over his mouth to keep himself from breathing in to much of the slow settling, thick dust. "Where's Eliah?" The polar bear choked out. Bean shrugged. Bark extended his hand. The green duck grabbed onto it, and the polar bear yanked him free of the concrete trap.

Bark heard the sound of concrete blocks moving aside and turned around to see who was coming. It was Nack. The purple weasel was quickly making his way through the debris towards them. "Eliah vanished into the fireplace. Don't ask me how, she just did!" The sleazy weasel snapped.

Bark grabbed the weasel by the belt and dragged him across the concrete. By now the dust was finally beginning to settle, and Bark could see outlines of various objects in the room. The fireplace was barely visible in the debris, but the polar bear could see the gaping black hole where the fire had previously been burning. "It must be a trick door or something!" Bean shouted.

"No duh." Nack said, "How does it work?"

Bark shrugged and knocked against the wall. It sounded hollow- a sure sign of a trap door. Besides him, Nack examined the wall, looking for a loose brick or something. "I don't see anything." Bark stated as he tapped the wall impatiently. Suddenly, the fireplace fell back, revealing another room. "What happened?" Bark asked Bean as he slowly stepped inside.

Bean shrugged. "I just pushed the button on the wall."

"..." Nack stared at the duck in shock.

"What?"

Bark shook his head and pulled the two of them into the room. The fireplace automatically swung back behind them. "Whoa..." Nack said as he looked around the room. Piles and piles of treasures, Bark was not sure if it was fake or real, was scattered around the room. The only thing in the room other than the treasure were the still, unmoving bodies of Shade Hunter and Heather lying in the middle of the room. Eliah was standing over them, smoking gun still held in her hand.

"Oh my gosh..." Bean choked, "She killed them..." The green duck forced himself to tear his eyes away the corpses. Bark and Nack stood there in numb, shocked silence.

"They had it coming..." Eliah said, totally unmoved by the fact that she had killed two living creatures. "...Just like Ferra and Bobbie had it coming."

"You killed them didn't you." Bark said as he slowly took a step towards the coyote.

"Yes... Bobbie was only getting in the way. Besides, I knew her office had a hidden extension, and I would need it for my operation. Ferra accidentally saw me transporting the treasure from an underground passage to the office. She asked me what I was doing and what I had done to Bobbie. So I killed her." Eliah explained, totally unemotional.

"What about Mandy?" Bark asked.

Eliah smirked. "Mandy stumbled upon this room by accident. When she saw all the treasure, she wanted to tell the authorities. She said that it would make her famous. We didn't want anyone to know about it, so me and Bobbie killed her."

"I don't get it," Bark said, "Bobbie helped you kill Mandy, then you killed Bobbie?"

"No, I never planned on killing Bobbie. She told me that she was running an illegal business and I could help her out. She said that she would give me a cut of the money. But then I overheard her on the phone. She was planning on ditching me and the hotel and taking all the treasure. I got angry, so after you three arrived, I whacked her over the head with a shovel. Then I put a tape recorder in the ground to make it look like Mandy's bones were talking. I was hoping that it would scare everyone away. But all it did was make these two curious. When I came in here, I found them loading up their arms with my treasure, so I killed them. And here you three are. You've also discovered the secret of Chateau Royal. Now... I have to kill you."

Nack, Bark, and Bean scattered as Eliah fired off her gun. Bark dove behind a heap of treasure and sucked in his bulk, hoping that Eliah would not see him. From across the room, the gun fired again. Bark peeked over the mound of treasure, only to see Bean dashing madly across the room. Eliah took aim once more and fired. The bullet vaguely missed Bean's foot.

In a risky maneuver, Bark rolled out from the treasure heap and grabbed Bean. Eliah raised the gun to shoot at Bark, but the polar bear ducked and punched upwards. Eliah grunted as the polar bear's fist connected with her jaw. She stumbled backwards; the gun slid from her hand and clattered onto the floor. It slid across the concrete floor and landed at Nack's feet. The purple weasel picked it up and pointed it at Eliah.

The coyote wiped the blood from her mouth and dove at Bark. The polar bear winced as a gunshot tore through the air. Bark looked down at his stomach, expecting to see blood dripping down his fur. Instead he saw nothing on him, but a dark stain on the concrete. Eliah was staring at Bark and Bean, her mouth slightly open. Her gloved hands were wrapped around her side; Bark could see dark blood oozing between her fingers. Behind Eliah was Nack. The weasel was holding Eliah's still smoking gun. He neatly twirled the gun on his fingers before sticking it into the belt. "You owe me." He said coolly.

Bark stared down at Eliah. The purple coyote had clasped onto the ground. She was not going to die or anything, but Bark could not help but feeling sorry for her. She had a deranged mind, but all she wanted to do was protect her treasure. Eliah had still killed four innocent people though, and there was only one thing to do...

"Bean, help me carry Eliah out of here. Then we'll call the police and have her taken away. Hopefully she can get some help..." Bark said as he grabbed the coyote's arms.

"Or we can leave her here," Nack suggested. But his suggestion went ignored and Bean lent Bark and hand. The two of them carried Eliah out of the secret passageway and into the next room.

"What happened?" Natalie asked.

"Well, it turns out that this whole thing was over a bunch of treasure..." Bark explained.

"Wow, that's kind of lame." Natalie said. "What'd you do to Eliah?"

"Nack shot her after she tried to shoot us." Bark explained as he and Bean carried Eliah out onto the staircase. The polar bear sighed. He had never felt more tired in his life... There was something about having a gun pointed at you that just drained your energy away. Oh well, at least it was all over...

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**Sucky ending, I know. Well, there's the end of chapter twenty. The next chapter is the last one. See ya soon!**

**-Dandylions**


	21. The Adventure Ends

**The last chapter... how sad. But before I go on, I must thank all of my _loyal_ reviewers: Blue Mage Quartet, Sergeant Klump, sonic candy, Chaotix Extremist, Dr Namgge, Ciel the Hedgehog, and NUSTCASE71733. **

**sniff I LOVE YOU GUYS! Now, before I have a breakdown about my story being finished, on to the last chapter. **

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Bark sat on the edge of his bed, staring out the window and into the courtyard. Everything seemed so peaceful now. It was indeed sad that Bobbie and Ferra had ended up dying, but at least now everything was over and done with. "Hey Bark!" Nack shouted from the other room.

"What?" Bark shouted back.

"The police want to talk to you!" Nack hollered back. Bark groaned and walked out into the living room. On the couch next to Bean were two hedgehogs wearing blue uniforms. One had out a notepad and was scribbling notes on it. "This is Bark." Nack introduced the polar bear to the first of the two hedgehogs. "He was also down there."

The police officer waved him aside. "That's okay; we don't need to talk to you, just Nack." Bark looked over at the sleazy weasel and raised his eyebrow. What lies had Nack been feeding the officers? Probably something about him being the hero and saving Bean and Bark from a homicidal maniac.

"By the way officer..." Nack quipped, "Is there a reward for the capture of Eliah?"

The hedgehog officer laid his notepad aside. "Well, seeing as you did capture a dangerous murder, wanted in several different parts of Mobius, I think we can scrape a reward for you. After all, we need to do _something_ with all of that treasure in the basement."

"So you're giving it all to Nack?" Bark asked, watching the sleazy weasel's face light up with glee.

"But it's so shiny!" Bean shouted, causing the two hedgehogs to give him strange looks.

"Well," the officer said to Bark, "Your friend here did manage to single handedly catch a wanted criminal. I think he should be able to keep the treasure found as a reward."

The second officer looked at his watch and stood up. "We should get going," he said to his partner, "The donut shop closes in five minutes."

"Crap..." The hedgehog tipped his hat at Bark, Bean, and Nack. "Thanks for your help. Goodbye." The door closed behind them, leaving the polar bear, the duck, and the weasel all alone.

"I'm rich!" Nack shouted at the top of his lungs, shattering the silence like a glass window. Bark and Bean just stared at him. "What?" The weasel asked.

Bark shook his head. Bean grabbed the remote and turned on the television. "Well, I'm watching TV. Anyone want to watch Oprah with me?"

"...I'm going to go see if Natalie has our car ready." Bark said as he opened up the door and stepped into the hallway. The Beaver gave him a half hearted wave as he walked back into his room.

Bark shrugged it off and walked down the stairs. Snyder was tacking up flyers on the bulletin board. As Bark got closer, he could see that it was informing everyone about the hotel's remodeling. Snyder gave Bark a brief nod as he stuck another flyer up, this one about Bobbie's funeral service. "Where's Natalie?" Bark asked at length. Snyder pointed over to the office.

The polar bear nodded his thanks and knocked quietly on the door. There was a muffled sound of footsteps, then the door swung open. "Hi, Natalie." Bark greeted, "Do you have our ride ready?"

"Huh? Oh yeah... It's waiting out front. I'll buzz your room and have Nack and Bean come down." The cat explained quietly. Bark looked over the cat's shoulder and into the office. The flicky was chirping happily on top of a clean desk. The whole room had been scrubbed free of dust. It looked like a totally different office.

"The office looks nice." Bark complemented.

"Thanks."

"So who's going to manage the hotel now?" Bark asked.

"Me." Natalie shrugged, "It's not like anyone else can. Bobbie's dead and Eliah's on her way to prison."

"Aren't you going to need staff?" Bark asked, seeing Bean and Nack walking down the stairs.

"Snyder's going to help me out. Now that Ferra's dead he doesn't have anywhere to go so I offered him a job. The Beaver might work her too." She added.

"Hi, Natalie!" Bean shouted as he walked into the lobby.

"Hey, Bean. There's a limo out front for you guys." Natalie said, "The driver will drop Nack off at a real estate place so he can get a new house, then drop you and Bean off wherever you want to be dropped off..." The black cat explained.

"Thanks Natalie." Bark said, "Bye!"

"Bye." The black cat gave the three of them one last wave goodbye before they vanished out the glass double doors.

"Where do we go now Bark?" Bean asked his friend.

Bark shrugged, "Onto another adventure I guess."

Bean nodded, and he, Bark, and Nack filed into the limo. The driver backed out of the parking lot and into the street. Bark looked back out the rear window. Chateau Royal toward above them, it's two story building an eerie reminiscent of the events that took place there. "Gonna miss it?" Bean asked, shattering Bark's thoughts.

"Yeah..." Bark said as he turned back around, "Actually, I am."

"Me too... Me too..." Bean said somewhat sadly. Bark could not resist taking on last look back. The Chateau had vanished from sight, hidden by the leafy branches of trees, but Bark knew that the memories would be there forever.

**THE END

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I can't believe it's over... I'm going to miss my story... Oh well. Off to write a new one! I'll be back around Christmas with the sequel! Tootles! **


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